


What The Water Took

by rockinviolinist



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, just wanted to put it up here, something i posted on ff.net a LONG time ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:35:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 35,427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2212527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockinviolinist/pseuds/rockinviolinist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another storm came through during the team's training camp. While the team was ok, the storm moved on to Iwatobi and devastated the town. The boys comes home to find that things will never be the same again.<br/>Something I posted on ff.net and decided to put up here. I'll post a chapter each day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hehehe this chapter kinda sucks its the first thing I ever wrote for the fandom it was like a year ago it gets better I promise

Makoto stared out at the water. He could see the sun's rays peeking over the horizon as the boat gently rocked up and down, and he could hear the soft sounds of his team mates fast asleep behind him. Their training camp had ended yesterday, but another storm had come through, so they weren't able to leave until today. Haru had looked so sad about leaving that Makoto had suggested they stay on the boat for the night and sleep under the stars one more time.

Everyone had a wonderful time on the boat – they saw beautiful ocean life, had delicious food, and Nagisa's antics all made for an exciting night. Everyone was exhausted when the sky had turned dark, and all fell asleep next to each other on the stern of the boat. Well, everyone except Makoto. Ever since last night, he had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. Haru had noticed, of course, but when he asked, Makoto had quickly changed the subject to dinner options (namely, mackerel).

The storm last night had been a bad one. He and his team were all safe and enjoyed each other's company during it, but it still made him nervous hearing the roaring ocean crash against the beach, closer and closer. He heard the storm had even reached Iwatobi.

He still feared the ocean. Everyone knew that now, and they were proud of him for attending the camp. But somehow, that knowledge didn't make him feel any better. He shivered. When he got close to people, something always seemed to take them away.

He could sense something in the water, patiently waiting to take someone else from his life.

"Makoto."

Makoto gave a yelp, turning quickly to see Haru, rubbing his sleep-tinged eyes wearily, raven hair askew. He looked up a Makoto's frightened expression and sighed quietly. "Sorry for scaring you. Why are you up so early?" Makoto didn't answer right away, instead turning back to the ocean.

"It's really beautiful, you know," Makoto said, as his emerald eyes closed halfway. Haru nodded, rolling his eyes slightly. Of course it was beautiful.

"Then why am I so afraid?"

Haru looked up at his friend, blue eyes wide. Was this about the storm? About staying on the boat? Was he still feeling guilty about Rei? He should have noticed, should have said something. "Makoto…" he stammered, trying to find the right words. Dammit, he wasn't any good at this. Makoto looked at his friend's worried features and seemed positively horrified at causing his friend so much stress.

"Haru, it's ok! It's nothing! I'm just a little freaked out by the storm, that's all! Please don't worry about it, it's not a big deal." Makoto smiled his gentle smile, causing Haru to look away. "How about we go and wake everyone up? I'm starving! I wouldn't even mind some mackerel right now." Haru nodded instantly and followed Makoto to where everyone was asleep. He was happy to pretend that conversation had never happened. When they reached their sleeping team mates Haru woke up Rei and Miss Amakata, while Makoto woke up Kou and Coach Sasabe. While everyone was grumbling and rubbing tired eyes, they both looked at the last resting body.

"Ready?" asked Makoto, and after Haru's quick nod, Makoto pinned Nagisa's body down while Haru attempted to shake him awake.

After much yelling and grumbling, everybody was sitting in a circle eating grilled mackerel, much to most of their displeasures. Makoto looked over at Haru, who he had never seen so content before. Eating mackerel on a boat with the ocean surrounding him on all sides – he must be in paradise.

"Alright everybody!" yelled Coach Sasabe. "It's time to get going. If the sea stays like it is now, we'll be back in Iwatobi in about three hours!" Everybody cheered except for Haru, but Makoto could see the small smile on his face. Even Haru could get a little homesick.

"Well, I'm gonna take this time to relax. You boys just have too much energy," said Miss Amakata as she laid down on her towel with her cell phone in her hand. "Ugh, there's no bars. Kou, why don't you come over here? We need some girl time, wouldn't you say?" Kou nodded in agreement and hurried away from the boys. Sure, she loved watching their muscles, but spending a long time with Nagisa takes its toll.

An hour passed as everyone sat around and talked about how exciting it was to be going back, and how much faster they were going to be at practice, and how much Seijuro was surely missing Kou right now. That last one got Nagisa a whack in the face, but overall they had a good time. Until Miss Amakata squealed in delight out of nowhere.

"Yay! I'm getting service on my phone now! Let's see what we've been missing out on." Everyone eagerly crowded in around her. They had all been deprived of any news during their training camp, so they all wanted to hear about what was going on in Iwatobi.

"Oh wow, I'm getting a lot of messages from last night. Maybe something exciting happened!" She smiled happily, navigating through her phone to get the messages. Her eyes moved side to side as she read the messages, and the smile slowly slipped from her face, and her eyes started welling up with tears. "Oh my goodness…"

"What? What's wrong? Ama-chan?" Nagisa started clambering to read the phone, but Rei grabbed his shoulder. "Rei, let go of me!"

"Just wait for her to tell us, Nagisa." Rei said quietly, his eyes unusually downcast. Nagisa's own eyes softened and he held back. During all this, Makoto was dead quiet, but his body trembled. Haru's hand was wrapped tightly around his own.

"The storm…" Makoto's grip tightened. "It hit Iwatobi full force. It's flooded. The 62nd district is completely gone." Oh, God.

"The 62nd district…oh no, that's where you and Haru live!" Rei exclaimed toward Makoto. Makoto didn't hear him. He couldn't hear anything.

"How many casualties?" Makoto asked. Miss Amakata stared at him with tear-streaked cheeks. "What?" Everyone turned and stared at Makoto. Haru's grip on his hand tightened.

"I said, how many casualties?" His eyes were completely dry. Miss Amakata looked down at her phone.

"246…so far."

"Survivors in district 62?"

"Makoto…"

"Answer the question." Haru's hand was starting to hurt.

Rei interjected. "Makoto-senpai, maybe we should wait, and give you some time to calm down, to think…"

The tiny thread that was holding him together snapped. "Answer the goddamn question!"

Everyone stared at him with wide, shocked eyes. Makoto never cursed, never lost his temper. Kou had tears in her eyes, and Rei and Nagisa couldn't look him in the eye. Haru closed his eyes tightly. Miss Amakata took a shaky breath.

"None."

His world shattered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto tries to cope with the news.

Surely he wasn't hearing her right. There had to be some sort of mistake. There had to be, there had to be, they couldn't have searched district 62 in just one night, they were still alive, they had to be…

"No."

Everyone looked up at Makoto, fear and concern in all of their eyes. "Makoto…" Nagisa murmured. He tried sliding his fingers around Makoto's hand, but he jerked away.

"You're lying." He jerked his other hand out of Haru's grasp. "They're not dead. They are not dead, my family is not dead, you're just a liar!" He quickly stood up and backed away from the group. Coach Sasabe hovered close by, wary of what the distressed teenager might do.

Miss Amakata looked to be on the verge of another bout of tears, and her face contorted into an angry expression. "Why would I lie about this? You know I would never do that to you!"

Makoto was taken aback for only a second. Then, more quickly than anyone in the group could follow, he had snatched the phone out of Miss Amakata's hands and was quickly scrolling through the messages and news feeds. His hands trembled more and more until they shook so much that the phone fell out of them and landed on the cold white floor of the boat.

During this, Haru sat still on the floor, eyes staring at Makoto's figure. He wasn't really registering anything. He had no idea what to do. He was no good at this. Whenever he was having trouble, Makoto was always there for him. When his grandmother passed away, Makoto was there. When his parents left for Tokyo, Makoto was there. When Rin left and came back like a hurricane, Makoto was there. He always knew what to say, or what not to say, and seemed to sense when Haru needed him, even if Haru would rarely say anything outwardly. But words seemed useless in this situation, because he and Makoto knew things that nobody else on the boat knew.

One, Makoto's father's arm was in a cast and sling from when he fell down the stairs two weeks ago, making it impossible to move. And the even more troubling fact – Ren and Ran hadn't yet learned how to swim.

Haru had never felt more useless. He turned his face towards Makoto's, only to see tears streaming from his green eyes, and he didn't think his heart could break any more than it already had. But he was wrong.

Makoto's eyes closed tightly, and his knees buckled. Haru shot forward and caught him before he fell, and gently lowered him to his knees. Not knowing what to do, he decided to wrap his arms around Makoto, whose shoulders heaved as he sobbed.

"Mom…Dad…his arm…the twins, they can't…they can't swim! Ren…Ran…oh, God…oh, God, please, no…" Haru's eyes, which had been tearing up for a while now, finally started to spill over. Since his parents had left, Makoto's family had basically taken him in. They treated him like he was their own son, and the twins thought of him as an older brother. And, after a while, he felt the same way. Now they might be gone forever. But even this sharp, stabbing pain in his chest was nothing compared to how Makoto was feeling right now.

Makoto's breathing was starting to even out, but the tears kept coming. "It's all my fault," he whispered. "If I hadn't suggested this camp, I would've been there when the storm hit. I could've saved them! I could've saved them…it's my fault…my fault, all my fault…"

"No, Makoto, it's not." said a sharp voice. Makoto looked up to see that the voice had come from Rei. Everyone turned to stare at him in shock, tears in all of their eyes. Rei's violet eyes hardened, and he continued.

"You had no idea this would happen. None. You did this training camp for all of us, despite your fears. That is the most brave, most selfless thing I have ever seen anyone do. So don't you dare tell me that this is your fault." Rei said. Makoto could only stare at him in shock, his arms still wrapped around Haru. Rei softened his voice. "And besides, these are preliminary numbers. There's no possible way that the entire town has been searched and everybody has been found. There is still hope. I will not allow you to give up. Do you hear me? I will not let you give up hope!" He stopped and took a deep breath, looking slightly embarrassed. "Please don't give up, Makoto-senpai."

Nagisa, who had not taken his eyes off Rei the entire time he was talking, reached over and took his hand. He then raised his eyes to Makoto's. "He's right, Mako-chan. And we're gonna be here for you, and we're gonna help you find them. That's what teams do, isn't it? And we're your team." He gave Makoto a small, watery smile.

Makoto couldn't believe his ears. It was all just too much. What had he done to deserve such a caring group of friends? He looked at Haru once more, who only nodded. Sometimes, words weren't needed.

"Thank you," he breathed. Suddenly, all the stress and shock caught up to him, and his vision started to blur. He swayed where he was sitting. Haru looked at him, growing alarmed.

"Makoto?" he asked, grabbing his shoulders to steady him. "Hey, Makoto, look at me. It's ok, it's gonna be ok, just look at me, please," he said, sounding desperate. Makoto continued to sway.

Makoto's eyes made contact with Haru's blue ones, which were wide with concern. Blue, like the ocean. The ocean that might have taken away my family. But they're so beautiful…they can't be that cruel…

Those were his last thoughts before darkness overtook his vision.

Haru grabbed him as he fell again, though this time he was completely unconscious as Haru lowered him to the ground. Haru made room as Coach Sasabe and Miss Amakata raced over and crouched beside Makoto, making sure that all his vitals were fine. Haru took one look at Makoto's head lying on the hard floor of the boat and kneeled down next to him, gently lifting his head and placing it on his lap. Even unconscious, pain was still etched into his best friend's face.

Once the adults were done, everyone sat back and stared at each other in silence. They were all exhausted emotionally, and no one knew what to say. Haru kept his focus on Makoto, gently stroking his hair, silently willing the pain to leave his features. When it was obvious that no one was going to say anything, Kou stood up, her scarlet eyes determined. She wiped away the remaining tears from her face.

"Coach Sasabe, start the boat again. We're going back to Iwatobi as quickly as possible. Haru, Rei, Nagisa, you take Makoto to the emergency bed. Haru, you stay with him and make sure he's ok. After that, Rei, Nagisa, Miss Amakata, we're going to find out how your families are doing and what's going on in Iwatobi. We start the search for Makoto's family as soon as we get back." Everyone stared at her in shock, and when nobody moved, she yelled, "Get going!" This seemed to shock everyone into motion. Coach Sasabe started the boat, and soon they were headed off to Iwatobi at top speed. The boys and Kou gently carried Makoto down to the emergency bed. Haru pulled up a chair next to him and wrapped his hand tightly around Makoto's cold fingers. Rei, Nagisa and Kou decided to leave them alone and joined Miss Amakata on the deck.

After a few phone calls, they learned that Nagisa's mom and his three sisters had been out of town to see a concert and Rei's parents had been giving a seminar at a university in Tokyo, so none of them had been affected by the storm. The relief they felt was immense, but it was weighed down by the fact that they didn't know what had happened to their homes, and that all the information they gathered about Makoto's family pointed to them being in their home when the storm hit. Their hope was dwindling.

"We're about twenty minutes away from Iwatobi!" Yelled Coach Sasabe. Haru had heard him yell and came up to see what was going on. "Is Makoto awake yet?" he asked. Haru shook his head. Makoto hadn't moved in the past hour and a half, except for some occasional twitching or pained expression, like he was having a nightmare. The helplessness Haru kept feeling was threatening to swallow him whole. He looked up, and could see the town forming on the horizon. From here, it looked peaceful.

Everyone stood up to look at the town. As they got closer, the damage became more apparent. Buildings and houses were…gone. There were no lights in the town. A cold feeling overtook them all.

"Hey, what's that?" Yelled Nagisa over the noise of the boat. Everyone looked where he was pointing, and they could all see a small speck in the water coming toward them. As it drew closer, they could tell it was a small speedboat. Coach Sasabe stopped the boat as it became apparent that the speedboat was heading toward them. Eventually it stopped alongside the boat, and a man in a bright orange life jacket yelled up at them.

"The port's destroyed! I'm sorry, but no one is allowed in the town right now unless they are emergency relief. You need to head south to the next nearest port!" Angrily, Rei ran up to the edge of the boat and yelled down at the man.

"We live here! Our friend's family might be hurt, we need to get in there as quickly as possible!"

"You can't keep us out of our town!" yelled Nagisa.

The man in the speedboat looked like he had had enough. "If you try to enter the town, we can and will arrest you. Head south to the nearest port and we will send out news about when it is safe to enter the town as soon as possible." He then sat down and took off towards the town.

The group was dumbfounded. Miss Amakata slouched down to the ground. "What are we going to do?" whispered Kou. They all knew that time was precious right now. They wouldn't be able to get to the next port for at least four more hours, and even then they would have no way to get into the town.

"Is that it?" someone said quietly. Haru turned towards the source of the voice to see Makoto, standing behind the group. They all moved out of his way as he walked through the group like a king walking to his throne, and grabbed onto the rail on the edge of the boat. He turned to look at them, emerald eyes stopping on Haru. "Swimmers don't need a port."

Before anybody could stop him, he climbed up on top of the rail and dove into the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments/kudos are appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

At first, nobody moved. They couldn't quite comprehend that Makoto - kind, quiet, scared-of-the-ocean Makoto – had just made the small splash they all heard, but still couldn't believe.

Haru was the first one to pull himself together. He started running to the edge of the boat as he ripped off his shirt. The wind carried it away as he climbed onto the rail just as Makoto had done, and dove into the water.

Instead of the calm, soothing feeling of the water gently wrapping itself around his body, Haru felt like it was strangling him, trying to suffocate him. He swam up to the surface and started his front crawl as fast as he could, but it felt like he was forcing the water under and behind him every time he completed a stroke. Usually, he felt like he had a gently companionship with the water, but this time it was fighting back, stopping him from reaching Makoto. Every time he turned his head to breath, water went in his nose and mouth, threatening to choke him.

But he had to keep going. Makoto was still out there, by himself in the open ocean.

Haru knew how stupid this was. They were in the middle of the ocean, which even he would hesitate to swim in normally, and there had just been a storm. Who knows what may be lurking in the water, which had turned from a beautiful, clear blue to a mud brown color from the debris washed up by the storm.

The raven haired boy could hear his team screaming at him to stop, and could hear the boat zooming towards him. Knowing there was no chance of out-swimming it, he stopped and treaded water until it came to a stop beside him.

"Haru you idiot!" screamed Kou. She threw down the ladder and continued yelling while tears streamed down her face. "Get up here quickly! We have to get Makoto! He's not thinking right, he wouldn't have just jumped if he was in his right mind, oh no, he's gonna exhaust himself…oh, God, what are we gonna do?" By the time she had finished rambling, Haru had pulled himself up. He ran past her to Coach Sasabe and nodded at him, signaling him to start the boat again.

They saw Makoto in the distance, who was going faster than anyone had ever seen him swim. His backstroke was flawless, almost too much so, but as they got closer they could see that his clothes were weighing him down and his chest was heaving with exertion. Slowing the boat down, they eventually got to a speed where they were able to ride alongside Makoto. Kou threw the ladder down again as the team started yelling over the boat's engine.

"Makoto-senpai! Please come back up, we're gonna figure something out!" Yelled Rei.

Nagisa joined in. "We're gonna figure out how to get into town, I promise!"

Kou, Miss Amakata and Coach Sasabe all joined in, trying to persuade Makoto to climb aboard the boat, but either Makoto couldn't hear them or he was ignoring them. He picked up his speed.

Haru had never seen Makoto like this before. He never blatantly ignored anybody, and his usually gentle face was set in a determined expression that made him hardly recognizable. Haru made his decision immediately and climbed down the ladder while the rest of the team wasn't watching, and jumped right next to where Makoto was swimming. He grabbed Makoto's arm at the top of his stroke and yelled over the noise of the ocean. "Makoto, stop! We're going to figure out a way, we're going to find them, just get back on the boat, please! We just want to help you, I want to help you!"

Immediately, Makoto's body stiffened, as if he had been shocked, and his eyes widened in fear. Fear of what, he wasn't sure, but he was sure of the feeling of his fist against Haru's cheek as his free hand seemed to act of its own accord. He was sure of the pain in his knuckles, and the look in Haru's blue eyes as they rolled up slightly in his head, and he was definitely sure of Haru's grip on his arm going slack and his best friend sinking like a rock under the ocean's surface.

The realization of what he had just done hit him all at once, and he couldn't breathe for a second. Before he was aware of what he was doing, he had already dove under the water and started swimming toward his rapidly sinking friend. He could see Haru's face, and see his eyes slowly open as he became conscious. He swam faster, deeper, lungs aching.

Haru's eyes widened as he realized how deep he was underwater, and how his lungs seemed to want to explode. He struggled, but it only made the pain grow worse, and a dull hurt finally settled in his chest. His vision darkened.

Am I drowning? Is this what drowning feels like?

He couldn't be drowning. The water was his home, he felt more comfortable in the water than anywhere else. It couldn't be what was causing his heartbeat to slow down, or what was wrapping around his neck, getting tighter and tighter. Why was the water doing this to him? Would this be the last thing he felt? The water slowly, painfully sapping his life away?

Is this what Ren and Ran felt?

Is this the last thing they ever felt?

Oh, God. This couldn't be the last thing they felt. Those sweet little kids, who always begged him to play with them, who gave him birthday presents, who called him big brother.

This couldn't be the last thing Makoto's parents had felt, the people who had taken him in, who had been more like his mom and dad than his real parents ever where.

Is this what Makoto felt while trying to rescue Rei?

No wonder Makoto had reacted so strongly. Not only might his family be gone, but the last thing they would've felt was the water they had lived by their entire lives consuming them.

Haru was shocked out of his reverie by a pair of strong arms wrapping themselves under his own, and felt himself being raised to the surface. They both gasped as their heads broke the surface, their coughing and gasping mingling with the screams and sobs of their team on the boat. Makoto gently cupped Haru's head in his hands after they had caught their breaths enough to speak.

"Haru, Haru are you okay? Oh my God, Haru, I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry…I don't know why I did that, I don't, I don't…I could've killed you! You were drowning! You were drowning…" He choked, and found that he couldn't speak. Instead, he inspected Haru's cheek, only to find a dark, ugly bruise starting to form. A sob tore through his frame.

Still gasping, Haru took his hand and squeezed, causing Makoto to look up, and Haru gently guided him to the ladder. Shakily, they both climbed up into the awaiting arms of the team, all holding towels. Gratefully, both boys accepted them. After wrapping up, both slid down the edge of the railing, sitting close enough that the sides of their shivering, exhausted bodies touched. Grabbing each other's hands, they laid their heads back and just breathed, Haru's laboring gasps becoming more even, while Makoto's continued to be erratic. He tried speaking. "H-H-Haru…I'm s-so sorry…this is a-all my f-f-fault, I completely understand if y-you…"

"If I what?"

Makoto stammered, unable to complete his thought. His eyebrows arched in confusion and his green eyes, duller than usual, stared into Haru's own blue ones, which shone like gems, contrasting with the dark bruise forming on the right side of his face.

"You completely understand if I what?" he asked, his eyes narrowing. "If I'm angry? If I hate you? If I decide not to help you? If I leave?"

Makoto's chest tightened with each question, with the words angry and hate, but at the word leave, it was finally crushed under the weight of what Haru was saying. He quickly retracted his hand from Haru's crushing grip and covered his ears, lowering his head between his drawn up knees. Despite this, he could still hear Haru as his voice continued over the shushed, frantic whispering of the rest of their team.

"Well, you don't have to understand, because I'm not angry. I don't hate you, and I am not going to leave you. Ever. You need me right now, and…I need you too. And so does the team. We want to help you. But you have to let us," he whispered. "Being all heroic and jumping into the middle of the ocean after a storm isn't going to help anybody." He gave Makoto a half-hearted smile, which he tried to return, but failed miserably.

"It wasn't heroic, it was stupid. I knew it was a bad move as soon as I jumped, but I just couldn't stop myself from swimming. I need to see them, Haru. I need to know…whether or not they…" He stopped and took a breath before continuing. "And when I hit you…I've never hit anybody before, I don't know why I hit you." His gaze dropped down to the bruise. "Wait, let me get some ice for it, it'll make the swelling go down. Do we have ice? Miss Amakata might have some left from the cooler…hold on, I'll get it!" In his rambling, he had stumbled to his feet before Haru could say anything and ran to the storage area. Less than a minute later he came back with a bag of ice, and sat down next to Haru. Gently, he tried placing it on Haru's cheek, but Haru pushed it away.

"I can hold it myself," he said. He reached out and tried grabbing the bag of ice from Makoto, but Makoto pulled it back. He looked at Haru with watery eyes.

"Just let me do it," Makoto whispered. "Please."

And so they sat there, Haru's head leaned against the boat's railings, with Makoto in front of him, on his knees, holding the ice to his cheek. Haru kept his eyes closed, relishing in the cold release of the ice on his bruised cheek. Makoto kept the ice as steady as he could, not taking his eyes off of his friend's face for even a second. The guilt was still there, weighing heavily on his chest, but it was lessoning just a bit. Haru wasn't angry at him, but Makoto was angry at himself.

And he was so, so confused.

Haru was just trying to help him, but in Makoto's panicked state all he felt when Haru grabbed his arm was pure and utter terror and…anger. He knew how illogical the feelings were, but he couldn't help himself. He was furious that Haru was trying to stop him. Dammit, didn't he realize how precious time was right now? There was no way they would be able to get into town for a couple days at the earliest. Even if his family was still alive now, so much could happen in just a couple of days…if they were still alive. 

His arm started to shake, but he willed himself to calm down. He would not break down again. He reminded himself of what Rei had told him. There was still hope, his family could still be alive. But that hope, the only thing keeping him together, was rapidly fading. What would keep him sane if that hope grew so small that it vanished completely?

The answer to that question suddenly stirred, and opened his cerulean eyes, which looked in Makoto's direction. He smiled slightly when he saw that Makoto was still in the same position as he was before Haru closed his eyes, and he was still holding the ice gently to Haru's skin. He reached up and softly wrapped his hand around Makoto's own and lowered it.

"Thanks, Makoto," he said softly, and Makoto found himself lunging forward, wrapping his arms around Haru and bringing him in for a tight hug. Haru stiffened at the contact, but quickly gave in to Makoto's warmth, wrapping around him in a similar fashion.

"I'm the one who should be thanking you," Makoto whispered into Haru's ear. Haru's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He gently untangled himself, blushing slightly, and was about to ask Makoto what he meant but was interrupted by the shadow of Kou Matsouka looming over them.

She saw the hug, but chose not to comment. Instead she said two simple sentences that filled Makoto's chest with fear, excitement, and above all, hope. 

"We've got a plan. Makoto, we're going to find your family."


	4. Chapter 4

The plan sounded pretty simple in theory. Head to the nearest port, take the train that would get them to the small town next to Iwatobi, and then infiltrate whatever emergency relief they could. That man had said only emergency relief was allowed in. Even if they only were able to look the part, they still had a shot of getting into town.

In theory.

An hour into their two-hour journey to the nearest port, Coach Sasabe's poor old boat started sputtering. It still had plenty of gas, so Rei gave it a good inspection, during which the engine, of course, caught fire. They were able to put it out (at the price of some of their shirts and half of Haru's stash of water bottles), but the boat had no sail or paddles.

They were stranded in the middle of the ocean.

Kou looked like she was going to tear her hair out. She paced around the boat's deck, taking her frustration out on anyone who dared to get in her way. Miss Amakata and Coach Sasabe were making frantic phone calls, but none were going through. Nagisa stood beside Rei, who had taken the engine apart completely in some vain hope of fixing it. Haru was on the back of the boat, leaning against the rails. But he wasn't looking at the water. His focus was on his friend, standing perfectly still on the very front of the boat.

Makoto had been quiet through almost the entire ordeal. Even when the engine caught fire, he was calm and collected as he helped put it out. He didn't cry out when gave himself a minor burn on his hand. He didn't say a word as everyone panicked at the loss of their only way of getting to civilization. When asked how he was doing, he'd force a smile. "I'm fine."

Haru had no idea what to do. Weren't adults supposed to be good in these kind of situations? Miss Amakata and Coach Sasabe had been pretty useless so far – although Miss Amakata seemed to be keeping herself together a bit better than the coach, who was biting his nails as he watched Rei struggle with the engine. But neither had even attempted to help Makoto beyond the occasional, "How're you feeling?" Every time, Makoto fooled them with his gentle smile.

Haru couldn't take it anymore. Makoto shouldn't be like this – so quiet, so resigned. Haru could see it in the slump of his shoulders. He was giving up. He pushed himself off the rail and walked beside Makoto. It felt eerily similar to just this morning, before everything had gone to hell. But now the sun was setting, and his best friend's hand was trembling, white-knuckled as he gripped the rail, as Haru slid his hand on top. Makoto didn't move, and Haru gripped tighter. "Makoto, look at me," he whispered. Blank green eyes met Haru's, sending a chill down his spine. Haru tried swallowing, but his mouth was dry. "We're gonna find them," he said, knowing how empty the words sounded. Makoto laughed, a dry, humorless laugh that was not Makoto.

"You don't believe that. Not one bit." He looked down. "We're stuck. Stranded. We might not be found for days. By then it'll be too late. No, don't," he said sharply when Haru tried to interrupt. "You know I'm right." Haru sighed and looked away.

"I love them, too."

"What?" Makoto stared at him with wide eyes.

"If you give up, then I'm gonna give up, too. And I know you don't want that to happen." Makoto stiffened. Haru knew that his little plan had worked. Makoto would keep fighting so long as it kept Haru safe. He felt bad for manipulating him, but Makoto needed something to snap him out of it. Not to mention that everything he said was true.

The two didn't say anything for a while. Instead they both watched the sun dip lower toward the horizon, never letting go of each other, listening to each other's breathing. But just as the sun vanished, two headlights appeared in the distance. A boat. Makoto jumped up excitedly, dragging Haru with him to the rest of the team, yelling all the way.

"There's a boat! Turn on the lights, they can help!" He pulled his cell phone out and turned it on, flailing the brightly lit screen back and forth over his head, jumping up and down and yelling. Soon everyone, including Haru, had joined in, screaming and yelling. The boat got closer and eventually stopped alongside them. It was black, so it was barely discernable form the night sky. Upon closer inspection, Haru could see a white design, two horizontal lines with sharks between them.

Samezuka's boat.

"Haru? Makoto? Is that you?" Rin emerged from the crowd of swimmers, yelling as he leaned forward over the railings. When they confirmed his questions, he immediately scowled. "What the hell are you doing? Why are you just floating in the middle of the ocean? Are you stupid?" He sounded angry, but even from this distance they could see the concern in his red eyes.

"Our engine blew out! We're stuck," Nagisa yelled. Kou stepped up behind him and looked at her brother with the sweetest, most innocent face she could muster.

"Onii-chan, can you let us onto your boat? We'll explain everything to you then."

Rin blinked, and, unable to say no to his little sister, left to find Mikoshiba. The rival captain burst out of the crowd with some rope around his shoulder and flung it over to Iwatobi's boat. Coach Sasabe helped to pull the two boats close enough so that everyone could easily jump onto the sleek black one. Rin helped everyone on, glaring when Mikoshiba helped Kou on with a little too much enthusiasm. Once they were on, Rin crossed his arms and glared at the team.

"Alright, spill. What the hell were you guys doing?" The team glanced at each other, nobody really wanting to explain. Finally Nagisa stepped forward and took a deep breath.

"Well, we found out the storm hit Iwatobi so we were trying to get back into town but this man said we couldn't cause the port got destroyed and then Makoto jumped in the ocean and Haru did too and it was stupid but also kinda scary and oh Makoto's family might be hurt so we tried going to the next town with a port and then Rei-chan made the engine catch fire so we were stuck and then we saw you and now we're here." He finished breathlessly. Rin just stared at him with wide eyes.

"The storm hit Iwatobi?" Rin asked in disbelief. "Those people just told us the port was closed, not that it had been destroyed!" He turned to Makoto, shaking slightly. "How bad is it?"

Makoto sighed. He couldn't sugarcoat anything, not now. "Most of it's flooded. We saw some of it from the boat, and buildings were gone. No lights." He closed his eyes. "The 62nd district…is…" he choked.

"Is gone." Haru finished for him. Rin looked like he was going to punch something, but Mikoshiba gripped his shoulder tightly, steadying him.

"We have a plan. Once we get to the nearest town, we'll take a train to the town next to Iwatobi. There should be some relief efforts that we can sneak into that'll help us get to Iwatobi. From there we begin the search for Makoto's family." Kou said to her brother. "But we'll need your help."

And that's how the Iwatobi team ended up on Samezuka Academy's boat, heading at a fast clip towards the next port. The smaller team all sat side by side against the wall of the boat, trying to get some rest before getting back. Who knew how long it was going to be before they could actually sleep again?

Rin sat on the ground in front of them with his arms and legs crossed, staring intently at their faces. Nagisa and Rei were out completely, the shorter one resting his head on the other's shoulder. Makoto took a little longer, but eventually his head stopped bobbing up and down and he dozed off, leaning against Haru slightly. Haru had his eyes closed, but Rin could tell that he wasn't asleep. He reached his foot out and nudged Haru's leg gently, causing him to open his eyes and look up.

"What, Rin?" he asked groggily.

Rin stared at him intently. "How are you doing?" He scowled when Haru looked at him blankly. "I mean it. How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine." Haru snapped, face still as impassive as ever.

"Are you really," Rin said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Look at me, I'm Haru, I don't give a shit when my I find out that my home for the past seventeen years may have been destroyed and my entire hometown might be go-"

"Shut the fuck up, Rin." Haru growled. Rin tried to keep going, but Haru stopped him.

"I don't care about my stupid house and my family doesn't even live in Iwatobi. If you really cared about us, your team, you wouldn't be asking that. You know what I'm talking about," he said when Rin looked confused. Haru turned his gaze to Makoto. Suddenly shame filled Rin's features and he buried his face in his hands.

"Shit, Haru, I'm sorry. This was just such a shock and…Makoto…" He uncovered his eyes to look at Makoto's face, which looked troubled even in sleep. He made a noise that sounded like a half-laugh, half-sob. "I can't even imagine…if something happened to Kou…do you think he's gonna be ok? Uh, I mean he's obviously not right now," he spluttered, backtracking quickly, "I mean if they really aren't, uh, ok, what do you think will happen to him?" His eyes looked into Haru's pleadingly, desperately.

Rin hadn't really talked to Makoto since he left for Australia. To have to face him for the first time in years – well, he wasn't exactly expecting to do that in this kind of situation. Haru could almost see the guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders, and took his time with Rin's question.

"If they are hurt, or worse, then he will not be ok. It's going to kill him." Haru gulped and continued in a low voice, "And I don't know if I can help him." He gripped either side of his head and lowered it between drawn-up knees, and they sat in silence for the rest of the boat ride.

Soon they arrived in the small town of Chiba, whose port was thankfully in working condition. An uneventful trip to the train station followed, where everyone was extremely quiet as the purchased their ticket to the town of Motobu, about thirty-five miles out from Iwatobi. It was two in the morning by the time they boarded their train, so most took the opportunity to sleep for a couple of hours before their day of uncertainty began.

Rin and Haru made a sort of unspoken agreement – they would take turns sleeping and watching Makoto. Makoto hadn't said a word in the past couple of hours. Haru was beginning to feel like he would give anything to hear him say "Haru-chan" again. So every time Makoto looked like he was having a nightmare, they would gently shake him or talk quietly to him until he calmed down.

They arrived at Motobu at six in the morning and took a bus to the hospital, where they could see huge crowds of people, most crying. Kou, Nagisa, Rei, and some of the younger Samezuka boys looked extremely uncomfortable as they all walked through the crowd, looking for volunteers. Soon Mikoshiba saw a lady in an official-looking uniform yelling at a bunch of people – telling them to take people to different wards, and give that poor boy some morphine! He ran over to her and whispered in her ear. The teams couldn't tell what he was saying, but apparently she was glad to hear it. She pointed to a closet and gave him some paper, and he returned to the team promptly.

"So, what's going on?" Rin prompted agitatedly. Mikoshiba gave him his most triumphant grin.

"Everyone go to that closet and grab the uniform inside. Do it fast, we have a bus to catch in twenty minutes." When everyone gaped at him, his smirk became even wider.

"I convinced her that we're part of a volunteer relief group. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. All we have to do is catch the bus and we're on our way to Iwatobi." Everyone cheered and rushed toward the closet, grappling for the nicest uniforms. Only Makoto and Haru were left. Makoto had tears in his eyes, and when he finally managed to move his feet, he walked up to Mikoshiba.

"Thank you," he said sincerely, looking straight into Mikoshiba's gold eyes. "So, so much." Mikoshiba blushed slightly.

"Don't even mention it. We captains gotta help each other out, am I right?" Makoto only smiled and nodded, heading toward the closet with Haru close behind. Soon everyone had on their bright orange shirt on and was loaded onto the bus. The bus ride seemed excruciatingly long, when in reality it was only about a half hour. They were dropped off right outside of Iwatobi because all the roads in the town were unusable. A small information meeting followed by the distribution of first aid, and they were given free rein.

The only rules were: Search for bodies, bring injured back to make-shift hospital, count and try to identify dead. Give officials locations of the dead so they could be brought back to the make-shift morgue in body bags. Oh, and travel in groups. Ready, set, go.

Pure adrenaline shot through Makoto when they were let go, and he started running as fast as he possibly could to  
his home. He followed a route he knew very well, but everything was so…unrecognizable. He could barely find his way to his own home. All the old landmarkers were gone. He could hear Haru and the rest of his team breathing heavily behind him as he finally came to a stop.

Oh, how he wished he had been lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments/kudos are appreciated!


	5. Chapter 5

_"Mako-nii!"_

_"Oni-chan!"_

_Makoto smiled widely as the twins tackled him, nearly knocking him over. He laughed with them as they practically smothered him in hugs, talking nonstop about how much they missed him._

_"It was just a field trip!" Makoto laughed. "I've only been gone for a day, and you act like it's been a year!"_

_"Well, it feels like a year," Ren pouted. "Ran was driving me crazy all day!"_

_"Not true!" Ran butted in. "Ren was playing tricks on me! But we did really miss you," she finished, wearing her cutest smile. Makoto tucked her olive green hair behind her ear and smiled back at her._

_"I missed you guys too," he said. "But trust me, I'm never gonna leave you guys."_

_Ren and Ran both smiled widely at that and grabbed Makoto's hands, dragging him in the house and filling him in on the day's events. His mother was waiting by the door, and greeted him with a kiss on the forehead._

_"Welcome home," she said, with a familiar gentle smile. He kissed her on the forehead, quickly saying, "It's good to be back," before the twins dragged him to the kitchen table. His father was setting out plates when Makoto sat down. He set Makoto's plate in front of him and ruffled his hair._

_"You hungry, kiddo?" he asked, and laughed when Makoto nodded vigorously. "I bet. That growing body of yours needs some fuel. You might even get taller than me soon!" This got the twins going on whether Ren or Ran would be taller, and by the time everyone was seated with food in front of them, the excited debate was well underway._

_Makoto didn't participate too much. He just watched his family with the gentle smile shared by his mother and father._

_"Are you alright, Makoto?" his mother asked. "You're awfully quiet." Makoto shook his head._

_"I'm fine. I was just thinking." He looked around the table, seeing his beautiful, sweet little siblings, and his kind, loving parents._

_"I couldn't even wish for a better family than you guys."_

It was gone.

All that was left were splinters, giant ones, sticking out at different angles from the rubble, like stakes driven through a heart. The bricks that once made up most of his home now lay in crumbled pieces. There were no walls left (unless you counted the half of the back wall hanging on for dear life). The only thing showing that people used to live there was the lone refrigerator, doors ripped off of its hinges.

The house where he had grown up, where he had spent his entire life, was gone. Just its components remained, but not even that – it was just trash now. Worthless. Waste that needs to be thrown away, because what use is it anymore?

While Makoto stood in front of the rubble, catching his breath, what was left of the back wall crumpled to the ground with a sickening crash, and Makoto couldn't take it anymore.

He leaped forward into the ruin, digging and digging, not caring about the cuts forming on his hands and forearms. They were running out of time. If his family was in there, they would be seriously hurt, they could already be dead…

"Makoto! Makoto, stop!"

"Makoto-senpai!"

"Mako-chan, you're hurting yourself, please, stop!"

But Makoto ignored them and continued his frenzied searching. They didn't understand, his little brother and sister could be in there, right now, dying. He couldn't stop. He wouldn't stop until he found them.

"Fuck!" He heard the yell and felt someone grabbing both his shoulders roughly, swinging him around to face blazing crimson eyes. He struggled vainly, but Rin's grip was like steel. Already it was bruising his shoulders.

"Let go of me!"

"Makoto, get a grip!"  
"No! I need to find them! Let me go! Let me g-" he was stopped mid-sentence by a quick slap to his face. Green eyes seemed to regain focus and he gasped for breath. Rin let go and Haru rushed toward his friend, careful not to touch him. He's shown himself to be pretty…unpredictable lately.

Haru looked at his face, already encrusted with dirt. "We're going to find them, Makoto. But we need to do it together, and be careful, ok?" Blue eyes looked into green ones pleadingly, and Makoto fought the urge to cry or lose control again. He wiped a finger across his cheek, looked at the filth that now covered it, and sighed. "Ok. I'm so sorry, Haru." Looking at the rest of the group, he apologized again to all of them.

Kou stepped forward, visibly shaken, but speaking loud and clear. "You don't need to apologize, Makoto. It wasn't your fault. But we do need a plan. Captain Mikoshiba, do you have the papers from the hospital?"

Mikoshiba stepped forward, handing her all of the papers. All the boys in the group were looking to her like she was their leader. Perhaps she was. Crinkling filled the air as she unfolded the papers.

"Alright, so this street and the next street to the north have not been searched yet." She reached into the bag slung over her shoulders and pulled out dozens of gloves. "Everyone grab a pair of these, and start digging. Carefully, though! Call people's names and listen closely for any cries for help! Let's get going!"

Dozens of boys grabbed a pair of gloves and headed out. Samezuka's team spread out to the entire street, while the Iwatobi team and Rin stayed behind. Each pulled on a pair of gloves and started in on the wreckage that used to be Makoto's home. The pulled out jagged beams and dug through piles of shattered bricks, all the while calling their names. Hours passed and Haru could see the hope rapidly fading from Makoto, his digging become slower and more tired. Haru went up to him, not saying a word, but never slowing down in his work. He had to show Makoto that there was still hope.

Rei and Nagisa worked together steadily, both oddly quiet, while Kou stayed close to her brother as tried to keep up with his frenzied digging. Around noon, when the sun was high in the sky, Nagisa gave a shout.

"Mako-chan! I heard something!" he yelled, jumping over a pile of bricks and starting to dig again. "Come over here quickly! I think I heard crying!" Makoto moved faster than he ever had before, running to Nagisa and digging. Everyone else soon got there as well, and sure enough, and tiny, pitiful crying sound could be heard underneath the rubble. As they removed some bricks, a delicate hand showed, along with some olive green hair matted by filth. Makoto dug even faster and eventually revealed the dirt and blood encrusted face of his mother. For the first time in a long while, the tears flowing down Makoto's face were ones of joy.

He cradled her face in his large hands, gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Mom, mom, you're alive, oh god, you're alive, thank you…" Tears ran down her face as well, leaving tracks in the dirt on her cheeks. By this time, nobody in the group had dry eyes. His mother reached up with her one free hand and caressed his forehead. "Mako…to…thank you…thank you…" she whispered, her voice hoarse. The sound seemed to bring Makoto back, and he quickly gathered himself.

"We're gonna get you out of here, I promise," he said, kissing her hand. She nodded faintly, her energy expended. The group gathered around once more and started to clear the rest of the rubble as carefully as they could. They were almost there when Rei spoke up hesitantly.

"Uh, Makoto-senpai, we might have a problem," he said. Fear gripped Makoto's heart, and he rushed over to Rei, who was crouched by his mother's feet. As they both removed the last of the bricks away, Makoto could hear muffled gasps from behind him, but he couldn't make a sound.

Her legs were completely crushed.

A large wooden beam had come down on top of them, splintering both of her lower legs, and large wooden splinters had driven themselves into the exposed muscle. They were hardly even recognizable. Vaguely, Makoto wondered how she was still alive. He heard Mikoshiba and a couple other Samezuka boys running up behind them, heard the sharp inhales and gasps. Mikoshiba ordered his team to get a stretcher and call for an emergency vehicle.

The Samezuka captain came up behind him and grabbed his shoulder, shaking him. "Help me pull that beam off of her. We'll get her to the hospital soon, don't worry. It's gonna be ok." He didn't even seem to believe his own words. Nevertheless, Makoto stood up, and he and Haru walked over to the larger part of the beam while Mikoshiba went to the other side. They all gripped the underside of the beam.

"On the count of three!" yelled Mikoshiba. "One…two…three!"

They all lifted, and his mother's screams made Makoto want to throw up and pass out. That would definitely be preferable to listening his mother scream and sob as the beam lifted away, moving bone and splinters of wood in her legs. They quickly threw the beam to the side and Makoto rushed to his mother, grabbing her hand and squeezing it, muttering apologies while she sobbed incoherently. Haru, Rin, Mikoshiba and Rei all lifted her onto the stretcher as gently as they could and tried to inspect the damage more clearly. But that was hard to do while Makoto's mother was writhing and screaming in pain.

Kou looked absolutely distraught. "Don't we have anything for the pain?!" She yelled desperately to her brother. Rin grabbed the closest first aid kit, rummaging through it for anything useful. All he could find was gauze and bandages, until he got to the very bottom. There, he found several small vials and syringes.

"Ryuugazaki! I think I found some morphine! But I don't know how to give it to her," he said, shoving a vial and syringe into Rei's arms. Ignoring Rei's splutters, he yelled, "Give it to her now!" Rei nodded seriously and, with surprisingly stable hands, drew some of the morphine into the syringe and gently injected it into the suffering woman's arm. He looked confident, but honestly, he had no idea what he was doing. He didn't know if he had given her too much or not enough. He just wanted her to stop screaming, please.

The morphine's affect was almost instantaneous. Her breathing slowed and she stopped struggling, but tears still streamed down her face. Makoto hadn't let go of her hand, and Haru had taken her opposite one. Haru kept his eyes on both of them, not saying a word, just watching as Makoto kept up a constant flow of soothing, meaningless words. He could hears sirens in the distance.

Rin came up behind Haru and grabbed his arm. Haru turned around, not letting Makoto's mother go, and looked into the morose faces of Rin and Rei. Nagisa and Kou were both several feet away, hiding behind Mikoshiba. A fleeting thought floated through Haru's mind as he looked at them. They shouldn't have to see this. They're too young. We're all too young. He was brought back by soft words from Rei.

"…fected. Haru, were you listening?"

Haru shook his head. "Sorry, no. Say that again?" Rei sighed.

"The wounds on both legs have severe infections. We have to be prepared for the possibility that she might lose them."

"That's not going to happen," Makoto growled. They all turned to him in shock. Haru had that same strange feeling in his chest again, like when he was watching Makoto swim toward the town. The feeling that he was looking at a stranger.

The change in Makoto's tone seemed to bring his mother back from a state of semi-awareness. "Makoto! Makoto, your father…he was still at work when the storm hit, I don't know what happened, and the twins were at school, I couldn't get them in time, I don't know, I tried, you have to believe me! I tried, I tried so hard…" She started to sob again, this time from a pain that morphine could do nothing for. The sirens were almost on top of them.

Makoto kissed her again. "I'm gonna find them," he whispered. "Don't you worry, I'm gonna find them, and they're gonna be alright, I promise. But you have to promise me you'll get better, ok? Will you promise me that?" She nodded as fast as she could. The ambulance pulled up to the house, and paramedics jumped out. They ran up to Makoto's mother and placed her stretcher onto a moving bed, wheeling it quickly towards the vehicle. While Haru and Makoto ran alongside her, she yelled as loud as she could.

"I love you Makoto! I love you so much!" she yelled until she was being pulled into the ambulance and her voice was barely above a whisper. Makoto tried jumping into the ambulance, but a paramedic held a hand up to his chest.

"All volunteers must continue searching in the town. No exceptions. You may visit the hospital when all casualties have been accounted for."

"That's my mother, you bastard! Let me in!" Makoto yelled, trying to force his way into the ambulance. The paramedics all fought against him, and after a short scuffle Makoto fell to the ground. Haru ran up to him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders as Makoto continued to yell curses at the paramedics and yell for his mother. The sound of his mother crying his name was cut off abruptly as the ambulance's doors shut and it sped away, sirens blaring.

Makoto continued screaming her name long after the ambulance had disappeared over the horizon. Haru continued to hug him as the rest of the team looked on with tears in their eyes and running down their faces until Makoto had disappeared into blissful unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! comments/kudos are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

They had to keep moving. It was barely midday; there was no way they would be let back into the camp. So, solemnly, the group made their way down the rest of the street, half-heartedly digging through wrecked homes. Water still filled parts of district 62, but for the most part, it had drained, making the damage all the more visible.

They heard no more cries when digging through the wreckage. They found their first body a few houses down from Makoto's. The little old lady that said hello to Makoto every morning lay on the ground, glass cabinet crushed on top of her. Makoto didn't even know her name. Kou wrote down a location and description of the body, and they moved on.

The next body was that of the stray cat that Makoto played with when waiting for Haru. It looked peaceful; it probably went by drowning. The rest of the group walked past it, but Makoto placed it under a bush and covered it in a towel, and he and Haru quickly gave their respects before running to catch up with the group.

Eventually, all were numb as the bodies kept coming. The neighbor teens that always ignored Makoto, his first-grade teacher that had moved to his street two months ago, a couple parents, and far too many children.

At first, Makoto saw Ren and Ran in each of the children's faces. At the first child they found, a small boy, Makoto ran to the other side of the street and vomited. Haru stayed with him as he recovered, and when the made it back, the boy was covered in a sterile white sheet. Everyone gave him pitiful looks as they walked past him and out of the wreckage.

After that, Nagisa, Rei, Kou and the younger Samezuka swimmers weren't allowed to search any more houses.

Soon, all the children's faces looked the same to Makoto, and he barely made a sound or expression when another was found.

The trek continued for several hours before they had finished the Makoto's street and moved onto to Haru's. Apparently, another volunteer group had already gone through, so they didn't need to check each house. They walked slowly to the end and up some stairs to Haru's home.

"I'm so sorry, Haru," whispered Rin.

Haru's house was in a similar state as Makoto's, meaning there was nothing left. Instead of answering, Haru walked through the wreckage to where his bathroom would have been, and stared at the tub, shattered into multiple pieces, parts of it missing. He picked up a small piece and pocketed it.

Haru felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around to find Makoto with a small, forced smile on his face. He handed Haru a crumpled up, partially water-soaked photo. He turned it over to see his old relay team, all smiling faces and no worries.

"I found it where your room was," Makoto said. "I'm glad it survived."

"Yeah," Haru whispered, gently folding the photo and placing it in his pocket, "Me too."

The sun was starting to lower, so the swimmers started heading back toward the volunteer camp. They were exhausted by the time they made it back, and most fell asleep as soon as the collapsed into the hard cots. But the Iwatobi team had a bit more trouble.

Kou fell asleep quickly but woke up from a nightmare just as fast; Rin spent most of the night sitting next to her bed, squeezing her hand tightly, trying to keep the bad dreams away. Nagisa and Rei had pushed their cots close together, reaching across them to hold hands. Neither could close their eyes for a long time.

Makoto lay in his bed, supine, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't go to sleep. If he did, he might dream. And dreaming was the last thing he wanted to do right now. He heard a shuffling sound to his right and felt the cot slope downwards. Haru sat next to him on the cot, staring down at his knees. The sat still for a few minutes, before Haru finally spoke.

"You should get some sleep."

"So should you."

"I can't. Not while you're awake."

Makoto finally turned his head to look at Haru, eyes dull. "Then it looks like you won't be getting any sleep tonight." Haru looked away for a second in response, then turned and lay on his side, facing Makoto.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, resting his forehead on Makoto's shoulder. Makoto's body had stiffened when Haru laid down; he didn't know what to do with such intimate closeness. But he soon felt his shoulder growing wet, and turned to see Haru's eyes closed tightly, tears streaming down his face, hand gripping Makoto's shirt until his knuckles turned white. "I'm so, so sorry. You don't deserve this, you don't deserve any of this."

"Haru…"

"Your mother…she was in so much pain…and I checked the roster, Ren and Ran haven't been found yet…and your father hasn't been either." He tried to restrain a sob, but it tore through his exhausted frame painfully.

The two swimmers had now found they had switched places; Makoto was now the one frantically trying to calm the crying Haru, before he woke up the rest of the team.

"Haru, please, calm down," Makoto was whispering desperately. Haru then muttered something so softly that Makoto couldn't quite make it out, but it still made his heart skip a beat.

"What did you say?"

"I said that…I love you, Makoto. I think I always have."

Makoto couldn't breathe properly. "Haru, I…"

"You don't need to say anything. Please, don't say anything right now. It's just…when we're searching and not finding them…I feel like I'm losing my family, too. And I don't think I can do it again."

Makoto didn't know how to respond. Haru had just confessed his love for Makoto, and told him that he felt like he was losing his family all over again. What could he possibly say to make any of this better? All he could do now was wrap his arms around Haru until his sobs quieted to silent tears and the occasional hiccup. After a few moments, Haru suddenly stiffened, and he sat up quickly, eyes darting side to side.

"I'm sorry, Makoto. I shouldn't have said anything. Not with everything that's happening right now, you have other things to worry about." He whispered, quickly slipping out of Makoto's embrace. "Please sleep, you really need to." He stood up and took a step away from the cot, but and hand latched itself around his wrist, halting him. He turned to look into Makoto's pleading eyes.

"Stay," Makoto whispered. "Please."

Uncertainly, Haru slipped back into the small cot and placed his head on Makoto's chest. They lay there silently for a few moments. Haru listened to Makoto's heartbeat, heard how it picked up slightly after he laid down. He listened to his breathing, his head going up and down whenever Makoto took a breath. Makoto placed his hand in Haru's raven colored hair, running it through his fingers. Even after years of exposure to chlorinated water, it was still soft.

A sudden warmth surged through Makoto's chest, and he inhaled sharply. Haru lifted his head, confused. "Makoto?" he asked worriedly.

Makoto looked into Haru's blue eyes, the eyes he'd known his entire life, and voiced his sudden realization.

"Haru, I…I love you, too." Haru's eyes widened, as if he thought his feelings would be unreciprocated. Makoto smiled, just a little bit. "Thank you for being here for me."

"Don't thank me. I want to be here with you," Haru whispered, and the kiss they shared was quiet, chaste - but it made both of their hearts feel like they were going to fly right out of their chests. When they let go, Haru was blushing furiously. Makoto couldn't see it, but he could feel the heat on his cheeks and brushed against them gently, carefully avoiding the still fading bruise.

"Let's try to get some sleep, ok, Haru-chan?"

Haru shoved his face into the crook of Makoto's neck, uttering a muffled "drop the –chan", but a smile still crept onto his face. He had missed being called that. Makoto wrapped his arm around Haru, and they fell asleep not too long after. No nightmares bothered either that night.

 

A loud bell sounded at around six in the morning, before the sun was even starting to rise. Everyone rose groggily, Rin rubbing his back, which was aching from sleeping on the floor next to Kou's bed, and Rei rubbing his legs, which were bruised from being kicked all through the night by a sleeping Nagisa. The Iwatobi team and Rin were the first in the cafeteria, where they saw Coach Sasabe and Miss Amakata running around wearing aprons.

Miss Amakata saw them first and dropped the pot she was holding on the ground. She ran over to the group as quickly as she could and jumped on Makoto and Haru, squeezing them tightly while both stared at her with wide eyes.

"Amakata-sensei, what's wrong?" Makoto asked. "Are you alright?" She squeezed them one more time before releasing them, but still gripped their arms as she looked up at her students.

"I heard about your homes, oh, you poor boys. And Makoto, your mother, I'm so sorry…" Makoto's gaze lowered, and he gently grasped her hand and removed it from his arm.

"Don't be sorry. She's going to be fine." He said firmly, and started to walk away. After exchanging worried glances, the group followed behind him. As they reached the long counter, Coach Sasabe popped up from behind it, wearing a huge smile.

"Alright, who's hungry?" he yelled loudly, laughing at the shocked faces he received. "Let's see what we got here…oh, there's some rice, and over here we've got some more rice, would you like rice, rice, or, look, more rice?" Despite themselves, the group smiled at his antics, watching him run around the kitchen and rambling, and Nagisa's giggles became infectious. Soon everyone was laughing, even Makoto.

By the time they had all finished their rice, the Samezuka team, along with the rest of the volunteers, had wandered in. All had weary eyes. Fleetingly, Makoto wondered if any of them had found a loved one in the rubble.

The Iwatobi team stepped behind the counter and helped their coach serve out all of the rice, and soon the cafeteria was filled with chatter. It seemed almost normal, like it was lunchtime at their high school, and the biggest worry on anybody's mind were the upcoming midterms.

Once everybody had finished, a stern-looking lady walked to the front of the cafeteria and stood on top of a small stool, megaphone in hand. She cleared her throat loudly in it a couple of times to quiet the volunteers. Then she spoke.  
"Thank you for all of your hard work for the past couple days. However, there will be some changes today. The hospital in Chiba is overcrowded. Therefore, only extreme cases will be sent there. The hospital staff have been gracious enough to send enough supplies to form a make-shift hospital here within the camp. This means that we will need about half of our searching volunteers to stay behind and help run this hospital. It has been decided that the volunteers who started yesterday and have the least amount of experience searching will stay behind." All four boys stared at each other in alarm. "Most notably, this means that the two swim teams who started yesterday will be staying in the hospital. Everyone else should meet up with their respective groups and searches will begin in half an hour. Thank you."

An uproar surged from both swim teams as she stepped off her stool. Rin stood up and walked right up to the woman, faces inches away, sharp teeth showing.

"You can't do this. My friend's family is still out there. We need to be searching for them, not waiting around in some damn make-shift hospital!"

"It was not my decision, but the hospital's," she stated calmly, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear. "I have to respect their requests."

"Fuck that!" Rin yelled. The lady took a step backwards, shocked by Rin's outburst. Rin turned around and stalked away, grabbing Makoto and Haru's arms and dragging them away. "You can't make us stay here!"

"If you disobey the rules, we can and will have you released from volunteer duty and taken out of Iwatobi," she yelled, stopping Rin in his tracks. "We don't have time for childish temper tantrums." Rin turned around, eyes blazing.

"Why you…" he growled, ready to let loose, but stopping abruptly when a strong hand gripped his shoulder.

"Rin, don't," Makoto said, looking him straight in the eyes.

"But Makoto, we have to-"

"We can't risk getting kicked out. We'll let some of the other volunteers know where my family might be, and they can search for them. We don't have a choice."

Rin scowled. "Fine," he said sullenly, looking away. Makoto finally released his grip on Rin's shoulder. The woman Rin had been yelling at just moments ago was now looking at them with pitiful eyes.

"I truly am sorry," she said, and walked away, dirty sneakers squeaking on the tile floor.

Haru walked up beside Makoto and grabbed his hand, looking up into green eyes. "Are you okay with this?" For some reason, this made Makoto laugh, but it was a quiet sound, empty.

"Not really," he said. "But we don't have much of a choice, do we?"

A half hour later, both swim teams found themselves in the empty hospital ward. No patients had been brought in yet, so the only thing to occupy them was the smell of antiseptic and counting the tiles. But the swimmers didn't have to wait long. An hour after the search parties headed out, patients started being brought back.

The patients had a plethora of injuries, spanning from cuts and bruises, concussions and broken bones to pneumonia and hypothermia. Rei, who had the most medical knowledge, took charge, ordering the teams and showing them how to splint arms and bring somebody back from the edge of hypothermia. Soon, the swimmers were working on autopilot, splinting, stitching, and wrapping. This continued for hours until Makoto heard something that sounded like yelling outside.

He ran to the front on opened the doors wide to find a group of five volunteers, all with various bruises covering their faces and arms, grabbling with a man. Makoto couldn't see his face properly, but he could tell by the blood running down the side and his incoherent yelling that he was confused and delirious, possibly from a sever concussion. The man punched a volunteer in the face, knocking him to the ground, and Makoto knew that he needed to intervene.

"Haru! Rin! I need your help!" he yelled behind him before sprinting to the group of volunteers. He helped the volunteer that had fallen to the ground up, and together with Haru and Rin, they successfully pinned the struggling man to the ground. Makoto tried to look at his face, for anything that might help identify him, but the man's nose was broken and one of his eyes was swollen shut. That with the blood on his face obscured his identity.

"No! NO! Let me go, now! I need to find my boys! My little girl! They're dead, let me find them, please, let me find them, I need to find them…" The man's voice faded into gut-wrenching sobs, and the sound made Makoto's stomach clench. He recognized that voice, even if he had never heard it scream like this.

"Sir, sir, look at me. What are you kid's names?" But the man continued to sob, unable to answer. "Please, sir, you need to tell me their names." But Makoto already knew. Finally, the man gathered himself enough to speak.

"My boy…Makoto…my boy, he's gone, he's gone, oh god, he's dead, isn't he?" the man sobbed. Even after hearing such a broken sentence, Makoto's heart soared to unbelievable heights. His father was right here in front of him. He was alive. Haru grabbed his shoulder while Makoto took his father's hand. All he had to do was show him that he was there, and he would have his father back.

"No, dad, I'm right here. It's me, it's Makoto! I'm all right!" he said, his voice sounding choked. His father's sobbing quieted, and he studied Makoto's face. Everyone held their breaths as green eyes, so similar to his son's, searched for anything familiar in his face. Suddenly, his eyes widened, and Makoto thought he saw recognition in them.

The crunching sound of a fist hitting his face told him otherwise.

"You're a liar! You're not my son! My son is DEAD!" he yelled, standing up and writhing in the grasps of the other volunteers. Makoto sat on the ground staring up at his father, nose running blood. Haru was next to him, frantically trying to stop the bleeding, but Makoto couldn't care less about it. All he could do was watch as Rin and the other volunteers struggled to subdue his father. Finally, Rei heard the commotion and came running outside with a syringe in hand. His father was pinned down and injected within seconds.

Makoto crawled toward where his father lay, gently taking his hand. "Dad," he whispered, and the sound of it ripped at Haru's heart, "please. It's me. Makoto. I'm ok, I'm alive."

"Stay away from me, you bastard," his father growled back, making Makoto drop his hand in shock. "You're not my son. My son is dead." With that, his head dropped back into the dirt, but the mumbled "He's dead, he's dead, he's dead…" did not relent.

His father's rambling continued until he fell unconscious from the drug Rei had injected, and he was carried into the hospital ward.

When he awoke later that day, he didn't even know who he was.


	7. Chapter 7

"It's you again."

"Yeah, dad, it's me again."

"Don't fucking call me that."

"Of course not. Sorry, Mr. Tachibana." His dad had finally recalled his own name, but little else.

"That's better. Now, what do you want?"

"I was just dropping off your dinner and checking on your arm, but it looks fine. I'll leave now."

"Has there been any news of my family?"

"Nothing I haven't already told you."

"So nothing true, then."

"I suppose so. Sleep well, Mr. Tachibana."

Makoto walked out of the room and shut the door before he could hear his father's response. He had been given a private room due to his "dangerous" status, so Makoto had only seen him for meals and medication. He wasn't injured enough to be sent to the hospital, so he was stuck there until further notice, regardless of any mental damage. Makoto wanted to scream.

Haru was waiting for him at the end of the hallway, leaning against the wall with his eyes closed and his arms crossed. At the sound of footsteps he looked up to see Makoto walking down the hallway purposefully, back straight and eyes forward. He only stopped for a second to grab Haru's hand and start leading him back to the make-shift hospital. Haru took this opportunity to question Makoto.

"How was he?"

"Same as before."

"So he doesn't remember anything?"

"He remembers his name. He knows he has a family. That's it."

"Oh."

They continued the walk in silence and made it back to the medical ward. The swimming volunteers were strewn all over, wrapping bandages and giving medicine. Makoto knew they would run out if the hospital didn't send more supplies soon. A quick hug and he and Haru threw themselves into the chaos of screaming and crying people. Makoto took those with physical injuries while Haru took the ill ones, and both soon fell into the zone. An hour passed, and Makoto could swear he had been doing this his whole life.

The last few patients had been brought in and treated, and for the first time that day, the ward was silent, the only sounds being those of sleeping patients. The volunteers, all exhausted, slumped back towards the cafeteria to have dinner.

The Iwatobi team and Rin all sat together at a table in the corner of the cafeteria, picking at their rice. They all sat in silence until Nagisa broke it, yelping in excitement after finding a piece of carrot in his bowl. After that, the table filled with quiet chatter about everything except their current situation.

Their conversation gradually became more animated, and everyone was talking except for Haru and Makoto. Rin stared across the table at them both, squinting his eyes. Being this quiet wasn't all that unusual for Haru, but Makoto hadn't said a word, and eaten none of his rice. Rin decided to ask the question burning in the back of his mind.

"So, Makoto, uh, how is your dad?" Rin asked hesitantly. Makoto looked up in shock at Rin's red eyes, which seemed uncertain whether or not he should have asked that question. He sighed and returned to picking at his rice.

"He's going to be fine, physically."

"Well, that's good, then."

"Yeah."

"Uh, what about, you know, uh, mentally?"

Makoto stared at him, and Rin couldn't make out the expression he was wearing. "He remembers his name."

"That's good!"

"And that he has a family."

"See, he's getting better. He'll remember you in no time."

Immediately, Rin knew that he had said the wrong thing. Makoto sat up straight, chopsticks clattering to the table. "You really think so?" he asked, and Rin thought he sounded…mean. 

Rin tried to backtrack, holding his hands up. "Well, I'm no expert, but if he remembers that much, he's gotta-"

"Do you want to know what he said to me, Rin?" Makoto asked under his breath. Haru and Rin exchanged glances; neither of them had ever heard Makoto speak with so much venom in his voice.

"Makoto, Rin's just trying to help," Haru said, grabbing Makoto's hand, which was clenched in a tight fist.

"I called him dad, and he just said, 'Don't fucking call me that.' He's Mr. fucking Tachibana now. Mr. fucking Tachibana whose fucking kid is standing right in front of him. Mr. fucking Tachibana, who calls his kid a fucking liar!"

The whole cafeteria was now staring as Makoto's voice got louder and louder. The Iwatobi team was now watching Makoto with wide, shocked eyes. Makoto didn't curse. He was always quiet, always calm, always kind. Nobody knew what to do with this Makoto.

"Makoto, please calm down!" Haru said, wrapping both hands over Makoto's own and gently tugging, trying to snap him out of it.

"I'm sorry, Makoto!" Rin yelled, looking profoundly scared and confused. "I didn't know, I'm sorry!"

Makoto then stood up quickly, slamming his hands down on the table, face contorted, like he was about to cry or scream. He took a deep breath and released it. "I'm going to bed," he mumbled, then stumbled out of the cafeteria, leaving in his wake hundreds of sad, confused faces. Haru stood up and made like he was going to run after him, but Rei grabbed his sleeve. Haru turned to yell, but hesitated at the look on Rei's face.

"I think he wants to be alone for a while, Haruka-senpai," he said sternly. Haru's expression didn't change, and Rei sighed. "Give him an hour, at least. Please."

Haru turned to look at the door Makoto had just exited through, then turned back to Rei. Giving a frustrated growl, he ripped his sleeve out of Rei's grip and walked back toward the table, sitting down with a loud thump. Rei sat down next to him quietly, and the team sat in silence. Rin had his face buried in his hands, red hair obscuring them. Nagisa and Gou were close to crying. But Rei's face was a blank slate; it was the one he wore when swimming, pole vaulting, or taking a test, and he adjusted his dirty glasses as he studied Haru's face. He continued to stare, examining any changes in Haru's expression.

Haru's face was full of more emotions than Rei had ever seen. He looked angry, sad, and frightened all at the same time. His hands clenched his shirt underneath the table, and he was biting his lip so hard that it was drawing blood. He finally noticed Rei's stare and turned toward him sharply. "What are you looking at?" he hissed. Rei flinched at Haru's tone, and was saddened by the tears in his eyes. He wanted desperately to change the subject, so he said the first thing that came to his mind.

"We heard you guys last night," Rei whispered, and Haru's face became red immediately, his eyes going wide. "I think we all did."

Haru looked around the table in shock, only to see everyone looking anywhere but at him. "Well?" he asked. "Did you?"

Kou and Nagisa were both looking down at their hands, mumbling incoherently, and Rin did for a second before his face set into a determined expression. He looked up quickly at Haru and slammed his hands down on the table.

"Yeah, we did. And you know what?" he growled, leaning over the table towards Haru's face. "I'm fucking happy!" With that, he leaned back in his chair heavily, arms crossed, waiting for Haru to respond.

Haru sat there, dumbfounded. "You're what?" he asked. Rin smirked at the completely confused look on his face.

"I said I'm happy. For you guys. We all knew it was going to happen eventually," he said, and watched as Haru blushed ever more. "He needs you right now. So we're gonna get our shit together and in ten minutes we're all going to talk. Together. Ok?" Haru's expression softened and he looked around at all his friends, who were smiling at him encouragingly.

"Ok," he said.

Exactly ten minutes later they were all walking to their sleeping quarters. Haru was walking behind the team, wringing his hands nervously. Rin slowed his pace to walk beside him.

"Everything alright?"

"Really?'

"Sorry, bad question."

They walked a little bit more before Haru interrupted the silence. "I've never heard Makoto yell like that before."

Rin averted his eyes. He hadn't either. Because Makoto had never yelled like that before.

"He's going through a lot right now," Rin said slowly, and Haru rolled his eyes. "Yeah, understatement of the year, I know. It's taking a toll on all of us. But it's hurting him the most."

"He thinks it's his fault."

"What?"

"He thinks it's his fault that his family was hurt. Because he wasn't here. His mother's dying and his father doesn't remember who he is and he can't find his brother and sister and he thinks it's all his fault. I told him it's not, and Rei told him it's not, but he doesn't see it."

"Haru…"

"He's too goddamn kind. Did you see him in the hospital? He did everything for those people. They were strangers, and he treated them like he'd know them his whole life. And he's too gentle. People are going to hurt him and he will just let them," Haru said, rubbing his face harshly. "What do I do, Rin? I can't stop any of this. I can't protect him. I'm not strong enough."

"Shut the fuck up, Haru," Rin growled. "You are not weak. Sometimes shit happens. You will do your best to protect him and he will do the same for you. And that's what matters."

Haru glanced up at Rin, his ocean eyes wide. "What if my best isn't good enough?" he asked, and his voice sounded so young. Immediately, Rin felt uncertainty swallow him like a wave.

"I…I don't know."

Haru opened his mouth to say something, but at that moment he heard a door being opened and Nagisa yelling into the dark room.

"Mako-chan! We're here! And we're all sorry about earlier, do you wanna talk?"

Nagisa's voice echoed off the peeling walls, but that was the only sound heard from inside. "Mako-chan?" No answer.

"Rei, turn on the lights," Kou whispered. After a little fumbling around, Rei found the light switch and flipped it, only to reveal an empty room. Haru found himself in a daze as he walked over to Makoto's bed to find a small piece of crumpled-up paper. He picked it up and unwrinkled to photo of his old relay team, with some new writing scrawled on the back.

I can't stay in here and do nothing. I need to find Ren and Ran. I need my family back together. Please don't look for me, and don't worry about me. I'll be ok. – Makoto

 

"That fucking idiot!" Rin yelled after Haru read the note aloud. "It's pitch black outside!"

"He's gonna get lost!" Nagisa squealed.

"Not to mention the temperature, he could very quickly become ill," Rei added, hands on his chin and a worried look in his eyes.

Haru didn't add anything to their observations. He walked over to his bed, picked up his Iwatobi sweatshirt and headed toward the door. He kept walking despite his teams' protests until he made it outside. Their protests grew louder, but Haru didn't stop until a hand grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around.

"Fucking hell, Haru, just stop for a second!" Rin yelled, his face inches away from Haru's. Haru just stared at him, his eyes determined. Rei walked up beside Rin.

"Haruka-senpai, we need a plan. We can't just go rushing out there blindly. You didn't even bring a flashlight. How were you hoping to get around?" At this, Haru's eyes widened and he looked away, embarrassed. Rei sighed. Right then, a yell came from the door.

"I've got the flashlights!" Kou yelled, running out to the team. As she was handing them out, she said, "I kinda stole these, so make sure you don't lose them!" Rin looked at her in shock.

"Kou!"

"Come on, Rin, Makoto's way more important than some stupid flashlights," she said knowingly. Haru, who had only been half-listening, snapped his head up.

"You're going to help me?"

The look the team gave him made him feel extremely self-conscious. "Of course we are," Nagisa said, "Makoto's our friend, too."

"But it's dangerous-"

"Oh, shut up," Rin said. "Just take your goddamn flashlight and let's get going."

"Thank you."

"I said shut up," Rin growled, and Haru smiled a little bit.

Rei stepped in. "So, Haru, where would Makoto go first? Weren't the twins at school during the storm?" Haru nodded. "So let's head there first. Lead the way?"

And so began their silent trek toward the elementary school, which was almost on the other side of town. The moon was high in the sky, but it did little to light the way. At every little noise, every rustle of leaves on broken trees, every gust of wind, they felt shivers down their spines.

"Do you think Makoto's ok?" Nagisa asked, breaking the silence. "He really doesn't like scary things."

Nobody answered. Just the thought of Makoto, all by himself in their destroyed town at night, brought too many emotions to the surface.

He is definitely not ok, Haru thought, and picked up his pace.

They finally reached the road leading to the elementary school. They had all gone to a different elementary school, so none of them had ever been all the way to the this one. The sight that greeted them when they reached it took the breath from their lungs, and not in a good way.

The school was old, and had been built below sea level. The stairs that were all over town went downhill when leading to the school. It was basically placed in a bowl. And that bowl had been filled almost to the brim with floodwater and debris.

"Oh god…" Kou whispered, gripping Rin's sleeve tightly. There was no way all those kids had gotten out.

"We need to start searching. Yell his name, and Ren and Ran's names," Haru ordered. "Listen for any survivors."

The team's faces took on a blankness that had become entirely too familiar, nodded, and set off, yelling their friend's name. But it soon became apparent there was nobody around the school. A half an hour passed, and they were about to give up when they heard a small splash from the other side of the school. The team ran as fast as they could to the source of the sound, and could see a figure swimming in the debris-filled water.

Makoto.

The team started yelling as loud as they could, but he couldn't hear them. He just kept swimming through the filthy, freezing water. Haru started to strip off his shirt.

Rin saw him and wrapped his arms around him, restraining him. "Haru, no! You can't swim in that, you'll get impaled or something!"

"Let me go, Rin!"

"Like hell!"

"Guys, stop!" Kou yelled, breaking them apart. "He's at the school's roof, he's ok!" They all turned to look and, sure enough, Makoto was pulling himself onto the roof. What he did next shocked everyone.

He ran to the other side of the roof and tried opening the door that lead up to it. When he found it locked, he took a step back, and kicked it down. The door came off its hinges, and he grabbed it, throwing it to the side. He then disappeared into the dark doorway.

The team waited, holding their breaths. Minutes passed, and just when Haru was ready to jump in again, Makoto walked back out of the doorway. And he wasn't alone.

He was carrying both Ren and Ran, his sister on his back and brother in his arms. Despite themselves, the team started to cheer. The noise caught Makoto's attention, and he looked up at them. They could all see his gentle smile, even with how far away they were.

Makoto took a couple steps forward, and Haru's stomach clenched as he watched him stumble. He made it halfway across the roof before he fell to his knees.

"Makoto!" Haru yelling, stripping off his shirt. This time, Rin didn't stop him. "Don't move, I'm coming!" He yelled, jumping into the freezing water and swimming as fast as he could, careful of the floating debris. He made it to the roof and pulled himself up, shivering, and ran over to Makoto.

Makoto was still on his knees, and had both arms wrapped around his brother and sister. All were crying. Haru decided to give them a moment and observed them from afar.

Makoto appeared to be ok. He was shivering badly, but he was otherwise ok.

Ren and Ran appeared a little worse off. Both were very skinny and shivering, with small cuts and bruises covering them. But they were still breathing, talking, walking. They were alive.

After a few minutes, Haru stepped behind Makoto and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. Makoto looked up at him, tears streaming down his face, but smiling. He reached his arm up and pulled Haru into the hug.

When their eyes had dried, Haru asked the question that had been bothering him since Makoto walked out of the school. "I'm really glad you're ok, but…how did you guys, uh, you know…"

"Survive?" Ran asked. Haru nodded, so she continued. "Well, a fifth grader was being really mean to Ren so we were hiding in our secret spot. And then it started raining and it didn't stop, and we heard water downstairs, so we kept climbing, and the water didn't reach us. But we couldn't get out. The door was locked and we can't swim." She sniffed, and Makoto kissed her forehead.

Ran decided to pick up where his sister left off. "So we just waited. It was really cold. And dark. And we were really hungry. And Ran was scared but it's ok because I protected her."

Makoto smiled at him and gave them both a quick hug. "I'm so proud of both of you. I'm so glad you're ok."

"We knew you would save us, nii-san," Ran said.

"Yeah. That's why I wasn't scared at all," Ren said, puffing his chest out.

Makoto chuckled. "Well, you guys can tell me whatever you want once we get out of here, ok?"

"Ok!" The twins said in unison.

"Will we get to see mommy and daddy soon?" Ren asked. Makoto stiffened and didn't answer, so Haru stepped in.

"Your mommy and daddy are a little hurt, like you are. But if you're patient, you'll get to see them soon." The twins looked confused at his vague statement, but promised to be patient. Makoto breathed a sigh of relief. He then looked up at Haru.

"I don't think I can take them both across. Or even one right now."

"I know. I'll take them across, one at a time."

"Thank you, Haru."

Haru shook his head, bent down, and kissed Makoto on the lips. Ren and Ran both smiled at each other good-naturedly.

"You're an idiot, Makoto."

"I know."

Haru stood up and took Ren's hand. The walked across the roof carefully and stepped into the water. Ren kept a tight hold on Haru's neck as he rode on his back, and they slowly made their way across the water. When they made it to the edge, the team pulled Ren up and wrapped him in their sweatshirts as Haru made his way back across.

He made to get out of the water when Makoto called across the roof. "Haru, just stay in. I'll bring Ran over." Haru treaded water and watched as Makoto slowly made his way across the roof with Ran in his arms. The girl had small cuts on the bottom of her feet.

Makoto was almost to the other side when they heard a crack. The sound resonated so much that the rest of the team heard it, and they all stopped what they were doing to find the source. Makoto took a step back, and they heard it again.

"Don't move, Makoto!" Haru yelled, and tried to pull himself up.

"Haru, don't!" Makoto yelled back. "It won't support your weight!"

The air fell still. Makoto didn't move a muscle, and neither did Haru. Makoto was twenty feet away from the edge. There was no way he would make it.

Ran was starting to get very upset. "Mako-nii! What's wrong?" she asked, squirming. "What's happening?"

"Shh, it's ok, just stop moving, please," Makoto pleaded with her. But the fear in his voice scared her even more.

"No! Tell me what's wrong! Tell me!" She yelled, her eyes widening in terror. She started to thrash around violently.

"Ran, stop! Please!" Makoto pleaded. But his pleading did nothing to stop her. She continued to thrash and yell until Makoto couldn't hold her anymore, and she fell out of his arms and onto the roof.

This times, hundreds of cracks were heard at once, and both brother and sister were powerless as the roof crumbled beneath them.

They fell.

Haru screamed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry in advance

"MAKOTO!" Haru screamed at the top of his lungs, the sound ripping through his throat. He scrambled out of the water and onto the roof, heart pounding, his blood rushing to his head, roaring in his ears. This could not be happening. Not after everything they had been through. Makoto almost had his whole family back. Dammit, he was so close.

He could hear his team screaming behind him, the splashes as they jumped in after them. But he didn't have time to wait for him. He had to get to Makoto now. 

Carefully, he walked around the edge of the roof, peering down into the hole Makoto and Ran had fallen into, hoping for a glimpse of them. Some remaining concrete from the edge crumbled and fell and after a few seconds, made a small splash. But Haru couldn't see how far down it was; he had left his flashlight with the others. The darkness permeated and filled every corner, suffocating him. He could feel himself panicking.

"Makoto! Makoto! Are you ok?" He yelled down into the hole. "Ran, Makoto, somebody, answer me!" But the only reply he received was the dim echo of his own pleas. He made up his mind that second and, making sure the team wasn't there yet to stop him, he lowered himself into the hole and fell.

The two seconds he was falling were the most terrifying of his life, because he didn't know how he was going to land. The interior of the school was destroyed, but he didn't know if he would land in water or on cold concrete.

He landed hard; there was water, but it was very shallow where he fell. It barely cushioned his fall and he nearly blacked out when he hit the concrete. He struggled to pull himself to his feet, and his vision was swimming along with the pain radiating up and down his back. Haru shook his head hard, trying to clear his vision. He couldn't afford to lose consciousness.

He started to run around, splashing water and slipping, yelling Makoto's name. He had to rely on his senses of hearing and touch in order to get around due to the swelling darkness, but minutes passed and he hadn't heard a thing from the siblings.

Suddenly, a bright light shown down from the hole in the roof, and Haru looked up to see the teams' terrified faces staring down at him.

"Haru, are you ok?" Rin yelled. "Did you find Makoto?" Haru had never seen him more terrified.

"I'm fine," he lied, "But I can't find him or Ran. I can't see anything."

"I got a flashlight! Haru-chan, catch!" Nagisa shouted, and Haru caught the oncoming object with ease, turning it on and looking around him.

The area he had landed in was shallow, but just a few feet away was a drop-off, where the water became over six feet deep. The few bodies floating around didn't faze him; there was nothing to be done for them. He needed to find Makoto.

"I'm going in!" Haru yelled, and before they could stop him, he had jumped into the deeper water.

"I'm surrounded by fucking idiots," Rin growled, ready to jump in after Haru, but Rei stopped him.

"Haru will be fine. We need to stay here and make sure to get them out. Got it?" He said, staring at Rin intently, not breaking eye contact.

Rin finally got uncomfortable and looked away. "Yeah, fine," he growled. Looking back to the hole, he asked, "You still ok, Haru?"

"I'm fine," Haru yelled back.

He was still searching, though, and becoming more panicked. They had to be close by, why weren't they answering?

Finally, Haru saw something in the water and swam over to it. Keeping the flashlight above the surface, he stuck his head under to see Makoto, eyes closed, stagnant at the bottom. Fine wisps of blood floated around his head like a deathly halo.

Haru's heart hammered in his chest as he grabbed Makoto and pulled him to the surface, body freezing in terror when Makoto didn't gasp for air. He just hung, limply, similar to training camp. Only this time, there was no sign of breath. Of life. His skin was grey, like a corpse, the only bright color being the crimson blood running down his face.

Haru swam as quickly as he could to the shallow area where he landed, dragging Makoto onto it and laying him down. It was just shallow enough that his face wasn't covered. Immediately, Haru started to perform CPR.

He took a breath and locked his lips with Makoto's cold ones, giving him air. He repeated this and then began the chest compressions. Makoto lay still.

The lights began shining down from the roof once again, questioning, concerned voices filling the air.

"Shit, he's doing CPR!"

"Is he breathing yet? Haruka-senpai!"

"Is Mako-chan going to die?"

Haru heard them, but ignored them, and continued his CPR without relent. Two breaths, thirty compressions at one-hundred beats per minute, repeat, two breaths, thirty compressions at one-hundred beats per minute, repeat…

Minutes passed. The team was crying and cursing above them. Haru was crying now, but did not stop.

Two minutes. Three minutes. Four minutes. Haru's arms and lungs burned. Makoto grew paler.

"Haruka-senpai, that's enough! It's over, he's gone!" Rei yelled, voice cracking as he sobbed between words. Haru continued. He could hear Nagisa crying and Rin saying every curse he knew while crying.

Haru stared at Makoto's face while giving compressions. His best friend. Or were they lovers? He might never know now. A sob escaped him, again and again, until he was sobbing while giving mouth-to-mouth. He sat back up and, in a fit of grief and rage, grasped his fists together and brought them down, hard, on Makoto' chest.

"Goddammit, Makoto! You can't do this to me! You can't just die! You found Ren and Ran, they need you! I need you! You can't die, you can't! Wake up, wake up, wake up!" he screamed, over and over, each time pounding on Makoto's chest desperately.

Slowly, his pounding became weaker, his cries softer. He wrapped his hands around Makoto's face, smearing blood across his cheek.

"I love you," he whispered, pulling Makoto's face in and kissing him. His normally warm lips were cold and still.

Haru stood up and turned away. Rei was right; it was over. He started to walk away. Ran was still down here, and she might still be alive. He needed to find her. For Makoto.

He stopped momentarily when he heard a splash behind him. Turning, he saw Rin struggling to stand after his hard fall, a string of curses filling the air.

"Fuck, fuck, shit…Haru, is he really…?" Haru didn't answer, so Rin ran over to Makoto's unmoving body, checking for breath or a pulse. He sobbed when he didn't find anything. Haru watched as Rin smoothed Makoto's hair back, over and over, mumbling softly.

"I'm so sorry, Makoto, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I was a dick, and I wasn't there for you guys and now…" He tilted Makoto's head back and moved to kiss him on the forehead, but just as he did he heard a small gasp from the boy. Rin's heart pounded.

"Haru! He's breathing!" he yelled. Haru ran over, heart in his throat, and kneeled beside Makoto, who was taking in small, painful-sounding gasps of air. Haru's sobs renewed themselves, and he began compressions. Soon, Makoto was coughing up water.

"Oh god, oh god, Makoto, look at me, please," Haru begged, and finally those beautiful emerald eyes, the eyes Haru though he would never see again, opened. "Haru…ka…" Makoto whispered painfully.

Haru enveloped him in a tight hug, then slowly lifted him into sitting position. Makoto was still pale and his breathing raspy, but he mind was clearing, and he could focus on his surroundings.

He saw Haru and Rin in front of him, both with tears running down their faces. He felt something run down his face and wiped at it with his fingers. Vibrant red blood stained them.

"Haru, what…what happened?"

Haru wrapped his hands around Makoto's, and Makoto could feel them shaking violently. "The roof collapsed, and you and Ran fell. I found you and you weren't breathing. I think you hit your head and got knocked out in the water. I had to perform CPR." Makoto stiffened, and he looked down. No wonder his chest had felt painful; a large bruise was forming on his sternum.

"How long was I out?" Makoto asked. Haru looked away.

"You stopped breathing for six minutes," Haru whispered. Makoto's face blanched an ever paler shade, and his hand reached for his chest.

"We had given up. Then I tilted your head back more and I guess it opened your airway enough for you to breathe," Rin put in. Makoto shook his head in disbelief.

"I was dead," he whispered. "I was dead and you guys brought me back." Haru and Rin simply nodded, looking away. Suddenly, Makoto gasped and sprang to his feet, swaying as his head swam. Concussion.

"Did you find Ran?" Both Rin and Haru's eyes widened and they shook their heads.

"Shit," Makoto cursed, and all three boys stood up and started searching. They could hear chattering from Nagisa and Rei above them.

"You guys stay up there!" Rin yelled. "We're gonna need help getting out!"

"Alright, Rin-chan!" Nagisa yelled back down.

The first place the trio check was around where Haru found Makoto, but they came up empty-handed.

"She could be anywhere around here," said Makoto. "I couldn't grab her when we fell."

They split up and searched everywhere within a twenty-foot radius, and finally, Rin saw olive green hair floating in the water. He ran over and shined his flashlight the spot, only to see red filling the water. Too much red. Rin dove under, keeping the light above the water, and waved his hand in the water, trying to clear it. The water cleared just long enough to see, and he immediately wished he hadn't.

The source of all the blood was Ran. She had fallen on a broken beam and it had impaled her tiny body right through her chest. She had probably died instantly.

Rin broke the surface of the water, yelling and cursing hysterically. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be fucking happening…

Makoto and Haru ran over as fast as they could, and both dove under to see what had put Rin into hysterics. Rin could hear screams under the water, bubbling to the surface.

Haru was the first one to break the surface, trying to pull Makoto back up. Makoto came up thrashing and screaming.

"RAN! RAN! WAKE UP! RAN!" Both Haru and Rin tried to restrain him, but he was too strong in his panicked state of mind. He ripped out of their grasps and grabbed his sister's wrist and checking her neck for a pulse. Nothing. He continued to scream.

"No, no, no! Don't die! I just found you! You were ok! You were ok, you were ok! Don't be dead, don't be dead, oh god, Ran, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…" He continued to apologize and sob, his little sister's hand pressed to his lips.

Rin was sobbing and retching in the corner. Haru was behind Makoto, sobbing as well, arms wrapped around him. He couldn't take any more of this.

"I'm sorry, Makoto, I really, really am," Haru mumbled into his back. Makoto continued to sob. "We should get her out of here." The grieving brother nodded brokenly, and he slowly lowered Ran's hand back into the water.

Together, the boys gripped Ran's lifeless body as gently as they could and lifted. Her body slid up the pole easily and soon she was free of it. More blood spilled out once the beam was gone. Makoto carried her in his arms, blood covering his skin, back to the shallow area under the hole. Rin and Haru followed, and they all saw a rope hanging from the roof. Rei and Nagisa peeked down inside.

"Did you guys find Ran?" Rei yelled. The boys looked at each other.

"We can't tell them yet. They won't be able to pull us up if they're crying," Rin said, wincing at how cruel that sounded. Makoto just stared down at his sister, stroking her hair, not saying anything. Rin turned to Haru, who nodded. He made up his mind.

"We found her!" Rin yelled upwards. "Pull Haru up first, he's the lightest. Makoto and Ran will go last, ok?"

"Ok!" he heard Nagisa yell excitedly. Haru walked over and grabbed the rope, looking at Rin with an unreadable expression. He then wrapped himself around the rope and the two boys on the roof pulled with all their might until Haru was able to pull himself out. Haru helped in pulling Rin out, and they threw the rope down one last time. The felt the tug which meant Makoto had grabbed on, and they all pulled. Makoto came into view, holding onto the rope with one hand, the other cradling Ran's body. He crawled onto the roof, exhausted.

Nagisa and Rei ran over to hug Makoto but stopped short when they saw him holding Ran up to his chest, rocking back and forth. Ran didn't appear to be moving.

Haru came up between them and grabbed both their hands. They looked at him in shock as he slowly shook his head back and forth. Rei gasped and took his hand away.

"Oh god…" he whispered, covering his mouth.

"Wait, Rei-chan, what's wrong?" Nagisa asked, though he knew what was wrong. He just didn't want to believe it.

"She's gone, Nagisa."

The blonde boy's eyes filled with tears, and his lips trembled. He sat down quickly, knees drawn up to his chest and arms wrapped around them. Rei sat next to him and hugged him tightly.

Rin watched everything unfold without saying a word. He looked across to where his sister and Ren were to see them near the edge, yelling as loud as they could. They were probably terrified.

"We need to get back across," Rin said. "Rei, Nagisa, swim across first. Don't tell Kou or Ren anything yet, just get them away from the edge. Got it?" The two younger swimmers nodded with wide eyes and slowly got in the water, swimming across. Rin walked over to Makoto and Haru, putting his hand on Makoto's shoulder.

"Let's go across together, ok, Makoto? Haru and I will help," he said gently. Makoto looked up at him slowly, his green eyes lacking any light. He stood up without a word and walked over to the edge, lowering himself and Ran into the water. Blood swirled around them. He started swimming without waiting for Haru and Rin, who both jumped in after him. They swam beside him slowly, arms outstretched, in case he needed any help. But Makoto didn't falter the entire time.

They made it to the other side and pulled themselves up. Makoto lay Ran down on the hard concrete with her head in his lap. Her light green eyes were still open, so he closed them gently, but she didn't look like she was sleeping. Her final expression was terrified.

Haru sat in front of him, stroking his sister's hair. Neither said a word. Rin ran over to where Kou and Ren were, running up to his sister and wrapping her in a tight hug. Her red eyes widened in confusion as her brother sobbed into her hair, rubbing his hand over her back and through her ponytail.

"Rin, what happened?" She asked worriedly. "Are they ok?" But Rin continued to sob and mumble incoherently. She began to panic, and Ren's tiny grip became tighter on her hand. "Rin, please answer me!" Rin gave a shuddering gasp and pulled away, arms still wrapped around her.

"Ran's dead," he whispered into her ear so Ren couldn't hear. "She was impaled."

Kou gasped aloud, scaring Ren. He tugged on her hand, hard. "Miss Kou, what happened? Is my sister ok?" Kou didn't answer and neither did Rin. Ren became more scared.

"Ran's over there! Why aren't we over there! I want to see her! I want to see if she's ok!" he yelled, getting louder.

"Ren, sweetie, let's just wait a little bit, ok? Just calm down-" Kou tried, but Ren ripped out of her grip, yelling.

"No! I'm going to see my sister!" he yelled, running towards Haru and Makoto. Rin tried running after him, but the kid had a good head start and made it before Rin could stop him.

Ren walked up to his brother, who was still sitting quietly with his sister's head in his lap. "Mako-nii, what's wrong with Ran?" he asked sitting next to his brother and staring down at his sister. "Why is she sleeping?"

Makoto looked up quickly, like he had just been woken up from a nightmare. His expression crumpled when he saw Ren's innocent face. Ren reached over and shook Ran's shoulder. "Why isn't she waking up? She feels really cold, Mako-nii, maybe she needs a blanket! Then she'll wake up!" Ren took off one of the sweatshirts the team had given him and laid it over his sister and watched her intently. Makoto couldn't speak.

Haru inched over and gently took Ren into his lap. "Haru-chan? Why is she so cold? Can you tell me?" Haru wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him in close. There was no other way to do this. The boy had to know.

"Ren, Ran's not going to wake up."

"What do you mean? Of course she will, she's just lazy. And she always pretends to be asleep when she's really not. I can wake her up, though. See, watch," he said, and reached over and pinched the skin on Ran's arm. When she didn't move, he reached over and pinched her again, harder. "This always wakes her up. Why isn't it working, Haru-chan?"

Haru felt tears in his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. "Ran's not asleep, Ren. She's passed away." Ren looked him with wide eyes.

"Passed away? Like Mako-nii's goldfish?" Haru nodded in response.

"But I never saw Mako-nii's goldfish again," Ren whispered. "We put them in the garden. Is that what we have to do with Ran? Do we have to put Ran in the garden?" He came to a sudden realization. "Does this mean I won't get to see her again?"

Haru heard Makoto choke, and turned to see him lowering his head to Ran's, touching their foreheads together. Haru rested his head on Ren's shoulder. "Yes."

Ren's body shuddered, and he started to cry. "No, no, I don't want to put her in the garden! I don't want to! We were gonna play with Mako-nii and see mommy and daddy! I want my sister, give me my sister!" He squirmed his way out of Haru's grasp and hugged his sister to his chest.

His sobs turned into screams, and Makoto could do nothing but watch his brother lose half of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this like a year ago and Im reading through it again as im posting and holy shit im a sadistic motherfucker im so sorry


	9. Chapter 9

The walk back towards the volunteer center was the longest of Makoto's life. Ren had cried himself into unconsciousness and was now being carried on Haru's back, his tear-streaked face nestled into Haru's shoulder. Makoto couldn't bear to look at him, keeping his focus on the weight in his arms.

Ran's body lay across his arms, cradled close to his chest, left arm and legs hanging in the air. When they first started their trek back, her limbs had swung back and forth with each of his steps, but they had slowly become stiffer, and now they were barely moving at all. Makoto had tried to lift her hanging arm on to her torso, but found that he could not move it. Rigor mortis was setting in.

Haru was walking behind Makoto, watching him carefully. Makoto hadn't said a word since they brought Ran back from the school. The team had tried talking to him, tried to offer as much comfort as they could, but each one was ignored. Makoto had barely even glanced at Haru when he had tried talking to him.

The smaller boy gently shifted the sleeping weight on his back. He could feel that familiar anxiety building up in his chest. He was very good at suppressing it, but it was still there; he had always hated the unknown. Feared it, even. He was quiet most of the time because he listened. He learned about people and what to expect from them. The more you know about a person, the less they can surprise you. Or hurt you.

Haru thought he knew Makoto more than anyone else. He knew all of Makoto's pleasures, hobbies, joys and fears. He had a decent idea of what to expect from him in almost any given situation. But this…Haru had never even dreamed of going through this. Not in his nightmares.

He had no idea what to expect from Makoto. So far he had been quiet…was this normal? Shit, this entire situation is as far from normal as you can get.

Haru knew what was going to happen when they got back to the camp. Ran was going to be taken from Makoto and placed in the morgue with hundreds of other bodies. How was Makoto going to react to that? So far he hadn't let anybody but Ren get near Ran's body. The thought of a stranger taking her from her brother made Haru's chest tighten.

They got back to the volunteer center at four in the morning. Almost everyone there was asleep, apart from the night guards. One guard saw the group of teens approaching and stepped forward, one arm outstretched.

"Stay right where you are," he yelled, and the team stopped, too tired for any kind of resistance. The guard shone his flashlight on each of their faces and relaxed when he saw that they were all just exhausted teenagers. He stepped forward and started to question them.

"What the hell are you kids doing outside in the middle of the night?" he asked. Nobody answered, staring at the ground and shuffling their feet. He was about to ask again when Rei stepped forward.

"One of our friends figured out where his siblings were and left to get them, despite the time of night. It was a smart decision, being that waiting would have endangered the children. The rest of us," he said, gesturing to his teammates, "went after him in order to help. We are just now returning. We didn't mean to cause any trouble." The guard shook his head in disbelief, then raised his dark brown eyes to scan the group of teens. He spotted Makoto and Haru, each carrying a small body.

"So, you found them, then?" he asked, walking over to Makoto and Haru. "Let me just make sure they don't need to go to the hospital, alright?" He reached over and took Ren's pulse, finding it normal. "The boy might need some stitches, but he's gonna be fine. Just make sure those cuts don't get infected." Haru nodded silently. The man then turned to Makoto, who was holding Ran close to his chest. He pulled her in more tightly when the man reached for her wrist.

"It's alright, son, I just need to take her pulse. I won't hurt her, I promise," he said, taking a slow step forward. Makoto responded by stepping back, arms curling around his sister protectively. Haru sensed Makoto's rising anxiety and decided to say something, putting a hand on the guard's shoulder.

"Sir, there's no point," he said softly, and he could feel the man's shoulder sag. "She's already dead." He sighed and stepped back from Makoto, who relaxed slightly.

"I'm sorry, son," he said. "I really am." He turned and waved his arm at the other guard, who came jogging over, and whispered something in his ear. The man nodded and ran back, going inside of the volunteer center. The guard turned back to Makoto.

"He's going in to get a stretcher for her. You can use these minutes to say goodbye," he said, not looking at Makoto's face, which had taken on a horrified expression. "I'm truly, truly sorry." He turned and walked away before Makoto could say anything. He sunk to his knees and uttered the first sound Haru had heard from him in hours.

A sob tore through his frame and he buried his face in his sister's hair, stroking it gently. "I love you, Ran," he whispered. "I love you, I love you, I love you…I'm sorry I couldn't save you, I'm so, so sorry…" He continued murmuring into her hair, becoming more frantic as the minutes ticked by.

"You're so smart, and so pretty, oh god you were gonna be beautiful when you grew up, you could've done whatever you wanted, oh god…" He pinched the tip of her cold nose is a way that would usually be playful, but was now gut-wrenching. "You're the best sister anyone could ever have. You deserved a much better big brother than me."

The entire group looked at each other uncomfortably. It was bad enough to see Makoto breaking down like this, but they could just hear the guilt in his voice. The self-hatred.

Haru kneeled down beside Makoto, who looked up at him with tears running in small rivers down his face. Haru leaned in and kissed him lightly on his lips, not caring that everyone was watching. Makoto kissed back desperately, biting his bottom lip before quickly letting go. The both looked at Ren, who was still sleeping on Haru's back.

"Should we wake him up?" Haru asked.

"I don't know," Makoto answered honestly. "It might be easier for him if we don't."

"He won't forgive you."

"Please, Haruka," Makoto pleaded. "I know. I just don't think I can see him go through that again. He should remember her as she was alive. Can't I give him that?"

Haru could do nothing but nod and watch Makoto's tear-stained face relax just a little. He then lifted his sister's body back toward his chest, rocking back and forth and murmuring quietly into her hair. He knew he didn't have much time left.

The two guards came back a minute later, carrying a stretcher and cloth. They laid the stretcher on the ground in front of Makoto.

"You can put her there, now," one guard said. Makoto didn't move. The other guard, the one who had talked to them first, walked up beside him.

"Now, son, I know this is hard, but we need to take her -"

"To where? The morgue?" Makoto spit. The guard stepped back, surprised at his tone.

"Well, yes, but she will be returned to you after everyone has been found."

"My sister doesn't belong in a fucking morgue."

The guard's demeanor, which had been friendly and caring so far, suddenly changed. "Your sister's body will go to the morgue along with all the other bodies found by volunteers. She is not exempt. Now, if you will please place her on the stretcher," he finished, his voice like steel. Makoto didn't move.

Haru looked between Makoto and the guard. Makoto's body was tense all over, which meant he was ready to fight. Haru had only seen him like this once before; he was being bullied in elementary school pretty badly, and when Makoto saw it happen, he had tensed up and asked the bullies to stop. When they didn't, he let loose. It ended with four kids being sent home with bruised bodies, black eyes and bloody noses, all courtesy of Makoto. He hated what he had done and vowed never to hurt someone again. But this situation was so surreal. A vow made when he was eight was in the back of Makoto's mind. And this Makoto, over six feet tall and extremely strong, could do a lot more damage than the one from Haru's past. He needed to get involved.

He put a hand on Makoto's shoulder. "Makoto, please, do as he says. We'll be able to get her later, I promise." Makoto still didn't respond, muscles tense. Haru needed to go for the low blow. "If you fight, Ren will see. You don't want him to see that. I know you don't."

For a second, it looked as if Makoto was going to ignore him. Then Haru heard a breath and saw Makoto slowly relaxing his body.

"I can't do this, Haru," he whispered.

"I'm here. You can," Haru whispered back. Makoto swallowed, loosening his grip on his sister. Together, the two boys lowered her gently onto the stretcher. As soon as she was on it, the guards covered her with cloth and lifted her with the ease that came from having to repeat something far too often. Without a word, they started carrying her in the direction of the morgue. One guard tripped on a crack in the sidewalk, and Ran's left hand slipped out from underneath the cloth, her pale, tiny hand hanging at an awkward angle, bouncing with each of their steps. Makoto broke.

He started to lunge forward and Haru tried to stop him, but couldn't get to him in time without waking Ren. Rin jumped in and grabbed him from behind, restraining him as he tried to run after the guards.

"GIVE HER BACK!" he screamed, struggling so much that Rei and Nagisa had to join Rin in restraining him. "I changed my mind! Give her back! Give me my sister back!"

His screaming had finally woken the child on Haru's back. He lifted his head and rubbed his tired eyes. "Haru-chan, what's happening? Why is it so dark?" he asked. Then, like a wave, memories from a few hours ago crashed into him. "Where's Ran? Where is she, Haru-chan?" he asked, panicking. Haru lifted him off of his back and placed him on the ground, hugging him close, trying to shield him from the sight of his brother. He squirmed in Haru's grip.

"Let me go! Why is nii-san screaming? Haru-chan!"

"They taking your sister to a safe place right now," Haru said, rubbing the boy's back in an attempt to calm him down.

"Then why is Mako-nii screaming if she's going to a safe place?" Haru winced. He had no idea how to talk to a child about this. Or anybody, really.

"Because he won't get to see her for a while, that's all."

"Does that mean I won't get to see her too?" he asked, voice going up an octave. Haru nodded. "How long?" his voice cracked.

"I don't know, Ren. I don't know."

Ren started to cry again, and Haru cried with him. Makoto's screaming did not relent. Haru wiped his eyes on his sleeve, gathered Ren in his arms, lifted him off the ground, and carried him over to Makoto, who was using every bit of his strength to shake off his teammates. Haru placed the boy down in front of him and watched as Ren made his way over to his brother cautiously. He had probably never seen Makoto lose control before.

Ren walked up to Makoto, who didn't even notice him, and gripped the bottom of his jacket, tugging on it. Immediately, Makoto stopped struggling and looked down.

"Nii-san…please…don't scream anymore," Ren whispered. Makoto lowered his fist, which had been poised to punch Rin, and stared at his hands in disbelief. Then he crumpled to the ground, gathering his brother in his arms. The remaining siblings sobbed in each other's arms until they had no tears left.

 

"We're leaving." Makoto announced the next morning. Everyone was still getting out of bed after their few hours of sleep when they heard him, and all turned to him in surprise, now wide awake.

"What the hell, Makoto? Are you crazy?" Rin asked. "You're dad's still here, we can't just leave him here!"

"Not to mention that we really have nowhere to go," Rei added. Makoto sighed, pulling on a dirty t-shirt.

"I know. I was planning on bringing my dad and Ran and stopping at the hospital to see my mom. From there, I was hoping one of you have family who'd be willing to house us for a couple days." He looked around at his team hopefully. Slowly, Rei stood up.

"Uh, my grandparents are pretty well off and they have a large estate about eight hours north of here," he said, blushing. "I can convince them to take us once I can use a phone at the hospital."

"Then we're set," Makoto said with a false cheer in his voice that made Haru flinch.

Nagisa, who had been pretty quiet, suddenly stepped in. "But are we allowed to just leave? I mean, we have responsibilities here, don't we?" he asked, looking up to Makoto, who couldn't look him in the eye.

"Honestly, I could care less about that. We're volunteers. We can leave anytime we want." He sighed. "And I found everyone I was looking for. There's no point staying."

The team packed up quietly, all wary of saying anything that could upset Makoto or his little brother. Ren stuck to Makoto like glue after he had gotten patched up; they slept in the same bed, and the boy was always holding onto a piece of Makoto's clothing.

They went to the cafeteria to tell the woman in charge that they were leaving. She was surprisingly calm about it; she just thanked them for their hard work and wished them a safe journey.  
Nobody mentioned their plan to take Makoto's father with them.

This was the biggest flaw in his plan. He really had no idea how he was going to get his father to comply. He thought that Makoto was a liar. Rei had snuck some drugs in, just in case it went south.

The team reached the hallway leading to Makoto's father's room. Ren was placed in Kou's care as Makoto, Haru, Rei and Rin all entered Mr. Tachibana's room. The room was in a state of chaos; feathers ripped out of the comforter were scattered all over, the lamp was smashed onto the ground, food was splattered across the floor, and words were scratched into the wooden bed posts. Makoto took a deep breath and walked over to his father, who was staring at him with wide eyes.

"Hello, Mr. Tachibana," Makoto began.

"Where are my glasses?" he asked. Makoto looked and saw them on the ground next to the lamp, the left lens containing several large cracks. He picked them up and handed them to his father, who put them on.

"I can't see a fucking thing through these," he grumbled, crossing his arms and leaning back. "Now, what do you want today?"

"We want to get you out of here," Makoto answered, and watched the man's eyes widen in…excitement.

"Fucking finally!" he yelled, jumping out of the bed. Makoto stepped back in surprise. "This shit-hole has been driving me crazy! Now I can actually go look for my family." When Makoto opened his mouth to interject, he sneered. "My actual family, you fucker."

It was scary to Makoto how much he was becoming used to his father cursing every other word – before this happened, his father had barely ever said the word hell. The man in front of him was hardly recognizable.

Makoto braced himself. "You have to stay with us, alright? That's the deal. If you want out, you stay with us. We're going to the hospital and I'm bringing you to see your wife. No, wait." He said when Mr. Tachibana moved to make a snide remark. "That's the deal. I don't care if you think I'm a liar. You have to see her. It might jog your memory. Got it?"

The older man nodded, rolling his eyes. "Yes, dad."

"Your other son is outside, waiting. He's eight. If you don't recognize him and say anything to hurt him, there will be consequences." This time, Mr. Tachibana lost all his sarcasm and just nodded. Satisfied, the team plus Mr. Tachibana walked out of the room to join the rest of the group. Ren ran up to his father, joy in his face, and jumped into his arms.

The man caught him and hugged back without saying a word. He caught Makoto's eye and slowly shook his head back and forth. Makoto could feel a scream building up in his throat, but it died when Haru took his hand, squeezing it tightly.

The bus ride to the hospital felt like hours, and Makoto could feel himself getting more nervous. Ren fell asleep in his lap, and Makoto unconsciously lifted both hands, one to smooth Ren's hair and the other for Ran. This hand fell through the space where Ran was supposed to be. Makoto spent the rest of the ride crying into Haru's shoulder.

They made it to the hospital around noon. Luckily for them, visiting hours were on, so after finding out the room number of his mother, Makoto and the rest of the team made it to her room without a problem. Once they were standing outside of her room door, Makoto leaned down in front of Ren so they were eye-level with each other.

"Ok, Ren. Mommy is in this room, but I don't know how she's feeling yet. So be very quiet when we go in and don't jump on the bed, alright? She needs to rest a lot to get better."

"What happened to mommy?" Ren asked, his face more worried than anyone his age should be.

"Mommy was in the house when it fell, and a lot fell on her legs," Makoto said, trying to say as little as possible without lying. "Her legs are hurt very badly. But that's all I know." That was true, at least. He didn't even know if she still had legs.

Ren nodded silently, sticking his little chest out, trying to make himself taller as he walked up to the door and opened it. Everyone peeked inside to see Mrs. Tachibana laying down in her hospital bed, reading a book. The scene was so blessedly normal. 

Ren couldn't contain himself and launched into the room, yelling happily. His mother dropped the book in surprise but quickly dissolved into tears as her son hugged her and cried into her bed sheets. Makoto came up behind him and hugged them both, running his hand over his mother's hair. It felt so similar to Ran's.

Shit. He had realized that he would have to tell her, but now that the time was here, he found that he couldn't. She looked so happy. But, of course, the question inevitably came.

"Makoto, where's Ran? Is she with you?"

He opened his mouth to try and answer, but he was cut short by a loud curse. The all looked to the end of the bed, where Makoto's father was standing, staring under the sheets he had lifted.

"Honey, oh god, is that you?" Makoto's mother asked. Mr. Tachibana just dropped the sheet and stepped away in disgust.

"I was right. You are a fucking liar. The woman's not my wife. I remember, I remember…my wife, she has long, beautiful legs, she dances and runs! This bitch doesn't have any!" he screamed, backing up toward the door. Mrs. Tachibana and Ren both looked horrified at his behavior.

"Makoto, what's wrong with your father?"

"Nii-san, why is daddy cursing?"

"I'm not your fucking dad!" the man screamed, pointing at Ren. "I'm not your fucking dad, either," he yelled, pointing at Makoto. "And you're not my wife! I'm not married to an ugly, useless cripple!"

He shoved his way through the team, who were all standing in shock, ran out the door and down the hallway. They could hear him pound down the stairs.

His mother and brother were both crying from pain and confusion, but Makoto stood with a completely blank expression. He had run out of tears a while ago. And he had learned his lesson; there was no use in crying for a dead man.


	10. Chapter 10

It took a while for his mother and brother to calm down enough for him to properly explain the situation. He faced them with forced levelheadedness, not daring to cry again in front of them. They had enough to worry about already.

Makoto pulled up a chair next to the hospital bed, placing it about two feet away. When Ren tried to sit in his lap, Makoto gave him a tired smile and picked him up, placing him next to their mother. The boy seemed confused and looked like he was going to start crying again, but his mother pulled him in close, calming him and stroking his hair.

Haru walked up beside Makoto, raising his hand to place on his shoulder, but stopped just before they touched. He noticed just how tense Makoto was; he was sitting with his back straight and rigid, looking straight forward, right over the heads of his family. Truthfully, Haru had no idea what to do, so he lowered his hand back to his side. He had a feeling that his touch might not be welcome at the moment.

It was strange. Haru usually didn't like it when people touched him, or having to touch others, but the thought of Makoto not wanting his touch felt like a punch to his stomach.

He was distracted from his thoughts by a small sound, and looked up at Makoto's mother, who was hugging Ren tightly to her chest.

"Makoto, you need to tell me what happened," she said in a hushed tone, staring at her son with wide, pleading eyes. Makoto swallowed hard.

He decided to go with the slightly less tragic story first. "Dad's lost his memory. He doesn't remember you, me or the twins," he said, his voice completely devoid of emotion, face a blank slate. Ren looked confused when his mother gasped and covered her mouth.

"How long…?" she asked.

"A couple of days, to my knowledge. But his personality has changed as well. He's not dad anymore. And I don't know if it's permanent," he said in response to her unspoken question.

Ren decided to speak up. "Is that why daddy said I'm not his son? He really doesn't remember me?" When Makoto nodded, he shrank into his mother's side. "Does that mean he won't remember Ran either?"

"Most likely," he responded tonelessly.

"Makoto, where is Ran? You never said," his mother interjected. Haru could see Makoto's hands tighten around the base of his chair, his knuckles turning white. He tried speaking a few times, but found that he couldn't. Haru couldn't take it anymore, and walked up to him, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. Immediately, he felt Makoto stiffen like he had been electrocuted.

"Ran's dead," Makoto choked out, and his voice was much louder than he intended it to be. His mother stared at him, shocked, not able to make a sound.

Makoto stood up quickly, knocking his chair backward as he did so. He shook Haru's hand off of his shoulder and started to walk out of the room. The team standing at the door moved to make for him as he made his way to the door. He stopped only for a second once he reached it to quickly look back.

His mother was sitting in bed, hands covering her mouth and silent tears streaming down her face, just staring at him. Ren was crying too, not so silently, calling his name. And Haru was standing in the middle of the hospital room, hands hanging at his side, looking lost. He was also staring at Makoto.

Everyone was fucking staring at him.

He couldn't take it and turned away once more. He walked down the hallway, not caring that he had no idea where he was going. He starting to hear screaming and wailing coming from his mother's room, his team calling his name. He picked up his pace.

Eventually, he was flat-out running, turning corners at random, pushing past patients and nurses without saying a word. He saw some double doors and pushed through them, hoping for a quiet, empty room. What he got was a staircase.

Might as well, he thought, and started to climb.

After twenty flights of non-stop running, he was exhausted. He thought his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. But he kept going.

Thirty, thirty-five, forty, fifty….he relished the pain in his muscles, in his chest. He could hear his heart pumping, could feel it in his temples. He knew he was pushing himself far too hard, and that he was probably going to pass out soon. Maybe that's what he was trying to do.

Before that could happen, however, he was forced to come to a sudden stop. He had probably ran up sixty flights of stairs, and he was now at the entrance to the roof.

What he had just done finally caught up to Makoto, and he gripped his chest, sliding down the wall. His head swam. He had completely forgotten about his probable concussion. He decided to wait a couple of minutes before standing up.

A couple minutes passed, and then a couple more, until fifteen had passed and his swimming vision had not gone away. In fact, it seemed to be getting worse. Makoto could feel himself starting to black out.

"I'm not…done…yet," he panted, his words slurring together as he tried to pull himself to his feet. He blinked hard as darkness crept in on his vision. He turned and grabbed on to the door's handle, doing his best to turn it, but his knees gave out before he could turn it all the way.

The handle clanged loudly as Makoto fell on his side in front of the door, hanging onto consciousness by a thread.

 

"Makoto! Where are you? Come back, Makoto!"

Haru, Rin, Rei and Nagisa were all running around the hospital, shouting Makoto's name at the top of their lungs. It was probably the loudest Haru had ever been in his life. He grabbed onto a nurse who walked by him.

"Have you seen a tall teenage boy, brown hair, green eyes? Wearing this jacket?" he asked, pulling at his own sweatshirt. The nurse shook his head, apologizing and walking away. Haru ran his hands through his hair agitatedly.

"Don't worry, Haru-chan. We'll find him," Nagisa said.

"Logic says that he is most likely still in the hospital. Makoto-senpai would not leave his family," Rei put in. Haru grit his teeth in anger. Rin saw and immediately became concerned.

"Haru, chill. He just needs some time alone is all," he said. He knew how fucking messed up this situation was, but he had still never seen Haru this frustrated before, and he did not expect his reaction.

"We can't give him any fucking time!" Haru yelled, and the team all backed away from him. Patients and nurses started to stare.

"He still has a concussion, and he's angry and upset right now and he's gonna do something stupid, and if we don't find him he's going to hurt himself. So we don't have any time," he practically snarled.

The other boy's eyes became serious, and they all nodded. Rei and Nagisa started their search again while Haru took a breath to calm himself. Rin came up behind him and whispered in his ear.

"Haru, we'll find him. It'll be ok, I promise."

Haru desperately wanted to believe him.

 

The last rays of light were fading from Makoto's vision, and the only thought going through his mind was, "Why the hell is the sun out?" His world had stopped, but the real one kept moving.

The utter silence surrounding him was suddenly broken when he heard the clanking sound of a turning doorknob and the squeaking of rusty hinges. He heard a long stream of curse words, but was too far gone to make any of them out.

Makoto felt a pair of strong hands grab him under his arms, pulling him out into the sunlight. He was laid flat on his back and the hands let go, only to start gently tapping his face, trying to rouse him.

He could feel himself coming back to consciousness, and along with that came the pain. His thought his brain was just going to explode out of his skull. Honestly, he hoped that it would if it meant the pain would end. The darkness was trying to pull him back in, and he wanted it to take him.

A sudden wetness on his face brought him back all at once. His eyes opened wide, and he covered them quickly. The sun was blazing far too brightly and his vision was still swimming, but he was completely conscious. His other senses seemed sharper, however; the pain was acute all over his body, and he could hear everything.

Everything including the sobbing of a familiar voice. He uncovered one of his eyes to look up into the face of his father. The man was crying hysterically and mumbling while he cupped the side of Makoto's face.

"Makoto, I…I remember! I remember you, I thought you were going to die and I remembered, oh god, I'm so sorry, I can't believe I said those things, I'm so, so sorry, Makoto," he breathed. Makoto could only stare at him, unable to speak.

He tried to sit up and gasped in pain as head throbbed. He could feel himself slipping again. This really isn't good, is it, he thought to himself. His father started to panic.

"What happened? Did you run up all those stairs?" Makoto nodded slightly and his father cursed, but it was nowhere near as malicious as it was earlier. He was scared. "Oh hell, that's almost seventy flights! And it looks like you have a concussion. A bad one." The boy tried nodding again, but this time it sent his head spinning. He turned to the side and vomited up the small amount of rice he had eaten that morning.

His father made up his mind and scooped Makoto up, despite them being nearly the same size, and started to run.

The top five floors had no patients in them, and therefore, no nurses. Makoto's father knew he couldn't carry his son down several flights of stairs, so he ran around the sixty-fifth floor, trying to find an elevator. He tried yelling for help, but no one was around to hear him.

The entire time his father was carrying him, Makoto could only stare into the man's face as his vision continued to fluctuate. The pure fear in his father's face made his stomach twist, but at the same time, he was filled to the brim with joy. His father remembered him. He was no longer the angry, confused, horrible man Makoto had found outside the camp.

After several minutes of searching, his father found the elevator and started to jam the down button repeatedly. The screen above the doors showed that it was coming up from the twentieth floor, and taking its sweet time.

"Dammit, can't this thing go any faster?" his father sputtered. He then leaned down and placed Makoto on the floor. His muscles were becoming extremely strained, and he didn't want to risk injuring his son further. Makoto groaned pitifully upon being laid down.

"I'm so sorry, son, I'm gonna get you some help soon, I promise," his father murmured, gently smoothing his son's hair back. Makoto said something under his breath that his father couldn't quite catch.

"What was that, Makoto?" he asked. Makoto swallowed and tried again.

"I'm…sorry…" he choked out. His father's eyebrows came together in confusion.

"No, no, you have nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all, okay? You saved us, you saved your family," he said, and was shocked when tears spilled out of Makoto's eyes.

"No, I didn't," Makoto gasped, and his father could see that he was no completely aware of what he was saying. "It's my fault…I killed her, I killed Ran, I killed my little sister, it's all my fault."

Before his father could react to what Makoto had just said, the elevator beeped. He scooped Makoto back into his arms and stood up just as the elevator opened, revealing the scared faces of Haru, Rin, Nagisa and Rei. Haru's face paled when he saw Makoto's body hanging limply in his father's arms.

"Makoto!" he yelled. His father squeezed into the elevator and hit the button for the bottom floor, where the emergency room was. The doors closed and he lay Makoto down on the carpeted floor of the elevator. Immediately, Haru knelt down next to Makoto and cupped his face, gently tapping it like his father had done, but Makoto had gone completely unconscious.

Haru stood up quickly and turned on Makoto's father, who was standing away from the rest of the group. He walked right up to the man, grabbing the front of his shirt in a clenched fist.

"What happened to him?" he growled. "What the hell did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything, I swear," the man said frantically. Haru's grip tightened. "I found him collapsed at the entrance to the roof. He has a concussion but he ran up almost seventy flights of stairs. I've been trying to get him down to the emergency room." When Haru still didn't loosen his grip, Makoto's father suddenly realized why. "Haru-chan, it's me, I remember everything, I swear!"

Haru's eyes widened at the familiar nickname, and he let go and stepped back. He was on the verge of tears. "Oh, Haruka…" the man whispered, and Haru did something that shocked everyone – he stepped forward and hugged Makoto's father, the man who had really raised Haru more than his own father, tightly. The man hugged Haru back without a second thought.

They didn't let go until Rei cleared his throat loudly. Both turned to see him kneeling beside Makoto, fingers on his limp wrist.

"His pulse is going extremely fast. He could go into cardiac arrest if he doesn't get help soon," Rei said, not daring to look anywhere but the floor. Haru knelt beside Makoto once again, placing two fingers below his jaw to feel for his pulse. It felt like a hummingbird underneath his fingers; far too fast and far too weak.

"How many more flights?" he asked to nobody in particular.

"We only have twenty more, Haru-chan, we're almost there," Nagisa said, trying to be optimistic. His trembling hands fooled no one.

The rest of the trip was made in almost complete silence, the only sound being Makoto's labored breathing. Finally, the elevator shuddered to a stop on the bottom floor. Makoto's father picked him up once again and all exited the elevator, making a beeline for the emergency room.

They pushed through crowds of people, all of who had some sort of injury – broken bones, cuts in need of stitches, turned ankles. But it looked like none needed more immediate medical care than Makoto, so Haru and the others felt very little guilt as they pushed through to the front desk. The receptionist at the desk took one look at Makoto and immediately dropped her phone and stood up.

"Oh goodness…ok, bring him around the desk, I'll get a stretcher. Hey, I need a stretcher over here!" she yelled to the nurses running around behind her. A stretcher was brought over by a nurse, and she started to question them as Makoto was laid down. "I need to know exactly what happened," she said to the boys sternly.

"I suspect extreme head trauma and exhaustion," Rei said, taking charge. "He received a severe concussion yesterday and nearly drowned, but was given CPR. Today he experienced emotional distress that made him push his body to exhaustion. I believe he ran up about seventy flights of stairs without stopping, and collapsed soon after. The stress is effecting his heart, and I believe he is at risk for cardiac arrest," he finished. The nurse, along with the rest of his team, could only stare at him in shock.

"Well, thank you for such a thorough explanation," she said, and started to wheel Makoto away. The group followed her as closely as they could, listening as the nurse yelled orders to the other staff while keeping one hand on Makoto's wrist at all times. She was close to the doors to the ER when she suddenly stopped.

"We need a defibrillator over here now!" she yelled. "He's going into cardiac arrest!" Haru felt his own heart stop at her words. He didn't need to be a doctor to know that having your heart stop twice in two days was not a good sign. He tried to get closer to Makoto but several staff members held him back.

"I'm sorry, but you need to stay back," one man said to him, and Haru had to restrain himself from punching him. He stepped back and stood on his toes in order to see what was going on. The team and Makoto's father all stood next to him, staring at the frenzy of nurses surrounding Makoto.

A loud "Clear!" resonated around the room, and Haru saw the two metal plates hit Makoto's bare chest. Makoto's body spasmed like a rag doll as the shock ran through him, and Haru felt bile rise in his throat. The nurse checked his pulse again and shook her head. They repeated the process again, and again, and again. Each time Makoto's body convulsed, then went limp, and each time Haru felt the urge to scream rise.

After the fourth time, Haru had had it. He tried pushing his way through the nurses only to have several people quickly restraining him as he yelled.

"You idiot, Makoto! Wake up! Wake up now!" he screamed as he struggled against the nurses holding him back. "I won't forgive you if you die! I'll never forgive you!"

Suddenly Rin cut into his line of vision, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him back while Nagisa and Rei grabbed him from behind. Haru continued to curse and struggle as the nurses started the defibrillator once again.

After this shock, everyone went quiet when a small gasp was heard. The nurse holding onto Makoto's wrist nodded, and everyone sagged in relief. But before Haru even had a chance to say anything, Makoto had been wheeled away to the ER.

Haru sagged to his knees, and Rin dropped down with him, hugging him close while Haru tried to regain control of his breathing. "It's gonna be ok, Haru. He's gonna be ok," Rin whispered.

Mr. Tachibana stood behind the four boys sitting on the ground and, despite the fear and worry piercing his chest, couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face. He couldn't have wished for better friends for his son.

 

The boys found themselves in the waiting room a few minutes later. A staff member had apparently escorted them to it, but Haru couldn't really remember. He seemed to be in a daze.

He counted every second that passed in that room. Thirty minutes, and hour, two, three, four hours...he spent each second staring at the clock across the room.

Rin was sitting next to him with his elbows on his knees and head in his hands, fingers entwined in tangled red hair. Haru noted that he had stopped crying around the half hour mark.

Rei and Nagisa sat on his other side, completely quiet. Nagisa had fallen asleep on Rei's shoulder an hour in but woke up soon after from a nightmare. He had spent the last few hours with Rei's arm wrapped around his shoulder, curled up in his seat. Rei passed the time by obsessively cleaning his glasses. Then there was Makoto's father.

God, this man was not good in a crisis. He couldn't sit still; the first hour in his chair was spent tapping his feet and biting his nails and the second he spent flipping through every single shallow magazine in the room. He spent the third hour walking back and forth between the front counter every few minutes, asking if there was any news about his son. Now, halfway through the fourth hour, he was pacing back and forth across the room without pause.

Five hours in Haru could feel himself starting to fall asleep. The tick of the clock he was so intently watching was becoming hypnotizing. Just before he slipped away completely, a doctor walked into the room.

"Tachibana Mamoru?" the doctor called out. Mr. Tachibana's head snapped around, and he quickly walked over to the doctor. Haru, Rin, Rei and Nagisa and stood up and practically ran over to join the two adults. "That's me. Is my son going to be ok?" Mr. Tachibana asked. The doctor sighed.

"Well, he's stable right now," the doctor said, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "However, he did crash three times before he stabilized."

"What does that mean?" Nagisa asked worriedly.

"His heart stopped beating three separate times and he required the defibrillator each time. We don't know yet the extent of the stress on his heart. But we did find something worrying in his x-rays." The group just looked at him expectantly, so he continued.

"As you may have known, it is abnormal for someone in good shape like Makoto to go into cardiac arrest several times, even after what he went through. The x-rays showed us that he has an enlarged heart, which most likely went into cardiac arrest after the extreme stress it was subjected to. I'm actually surprised this didn't happen sooner; from the looks of him, I would guess that he trains hard, and quite frequently. It's not uncommon for athletes with enlarged hearts to experience cardiac arrest. He's lucky it happened in a hospital," the doctor finished.

Haru's mouth became dry. This meant that Makoto put his life in danger at every tournament, every practice, and every single time he swam with Haru. He felt like he was going to vomit.

"When can we see him?" Rin asked.

"You can visit him right now. But I ask that when you go into his room to remain as quiet as possible. We don't want to add any more stress, alright?" he asked, although it was more of an order than a question. Everyone nodded silently, and he seemed satisfied. He turned to a nurse and, after a quick exchanging of words, the team followed the nurse down several hallways, and finally stopping in front of Makoto's hospital room.

"He's in here. If he's asleep, don't try to wake him up. He should wake up on his own soon, anyway," she said, opening the door. The group filed into the room one at a time. "If you need anything, there's a buzzer beside the bed, alright?" she said, and walked out, quietly closing the door behind her. Immediately, Mr. Tachibana made his way over to the hospital bed where Makoto lay, and the rest of the team followed, surrounding the bed.

Makoto was unconscious, but it was different from earlier. Before his face had been screwed up in pain, and his breathing was labored and uneven, but now he was relaxed, and his breathing was deep and even. Haru relaxed visibly, even though he knew Makoto was probably just filled to the brim with painkilling drugs.

They stood in silence for a few minutes before Nagisa spoke. "Um, guys, what do we do now?" he asked. "We don't know when he's gonna wake up." Rin ran his hand through his hair, thinking. Suddenly, he cursed.

"Shit, we haven't told his mom or Kou what's going on! It's been hours, they're probably freaking out by now," he said. Mr. Tachibana looked down at his shoes nervously and Haru rubbed his eyes roughly.

"She needs to know what's going on," he said, turning to Rin, Rei and Nagisa. "You guys run down there and get them up to date. Make sure to tell them that Makoto's dad's gotten some of his memories back. Rin, do you have your phone?" he asked. Rin patted down his pockets and pulled out his cell phone, checking it for a charge. He nodded.

"Good. I'll call you when Makoto wakes up." And with that, Rein, Rei and Nagisa were gone, leaving only Haru and Mr. Tachibana. Without saying a word, both pulled up a chair to opposite sides of the hospital bed.

Several minutes passed in complete silence, with both of them just staring at Makoto, looking for any signs that he was waking up. When it became clear that he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, Mr. Tachibana cleared his throat.

"Uh, Haruka, I…I need to talk to you, if that's alright," he said nervously. He could remember all the horrible things he had said with perfect clarity, so he wasn't sure if Haru would listen to him. The boy met his eyes and he nodded, giving the man permission to speak.

"First of all, I'm so sorry about what I did earlier, it was completely inappropriate, and I have no excuse-"

"You had temporary amnesia. It's not your fault," Haru interjected. The man sighed and crossed his arms.

"I suppose. That still doesn't excuse my actions," he said. Haru made a small noise in response, turning back to Makoto, waiting for him to continue.

"Makoto said something to me earlier, before he passed out. He started apologizing and saying that he killed Ran. But he was just confused, right? Isn't Ran downstairs with Ren and their mother?" he asked, his voice rising an octave when he saw Haru's face fall. "Haru-chan? What happened? Is my daughter ok?"

Haru placed both hands on his knees and turned toward the man who he probably respected more than anyone else and bowed his head down low. He took a deep breath. "Ran is dead. I'm so sorry."

Haru raised his head to see Mr. Tachibana staring at him with wide eyes. His hands were trembling violently. He rubbed his face harshly.

"Mamoru-san…" Haru said, using his first name out of habit. More quickly than Haru could follow, Mr. Tachibana had dropped his hands and was out of seat, backing away from the bed.

"Who the hell are you talking to? You can't call me that, I don't even know you! Who the fuck are you?" he yelled, pointing an accusing hand at Haru. Haru stood up and walked slowly toward Makoto's father.

"Stay the fuck away from me! No, don't come any closer!" he practically screamed.

"Mamoru-san, it's me, Haruka! Nanase Haruka! I've known you my whole life, you practically raised me!" Haru yelled back, his voice cracking. He needed to stop this before Makoto woke up and saw him, but his father continued to back into a corner like a scared animal.

"That's your son, Makoto! He's hurt and he needs you, so get your act together! No, I'm not lying to you," he snarled. Haru then reached forward, gripping the man's wrist and dragging him over to the hospital bed, forcing him to look at is unconscious son. He blinked hard and rubbed his eyes.

"Makoto…?" he whispered, and only then did Haru let him go. He stood up straight, his eyes wide and confused as he looked around the room. "Haruka, what…?" he tried asking. Haru shook his head. He was just as confused as the older man.

Mr. Tachibana slowly sat back down in his chair and placed his head in his hands. "Oh god, I'm losing it, aren't I? I'm going crazy. And Ran…oh god, she can't be dead, my little girl…" Haru just stood by him, not knowing what to do. Like father like son. 

Haru sat back in his chair on the other side of the bed and watched Makoto's father as his shoulders heaved with silent, dry sobs. He didn't try to intervene his grieving with useless comfort, partly because he didn't think he was strong enough to support another person.

Of course, it was then that Makoto moved. Haru heard a small, pitiful-sounding whine come from the hospital bed and looked down to see his face scrunched up in pain. Makoto's hands moved up to his temple, and he rubbed them in small, circular motions. It looked like the pain medicine was wearing off. Haru began stroking his hair, and Makoto slowly opened his eyes. He looked up at Haru in confusion, but the memories from before quickly dawned on him, and his eyes opened wide. He tried sitting up but was forced to lay back down or risk passing out again.

Looking over at his father, Makoto voiced a simple question. "Does he know?" Haru nodded.

"He said you think it's your fault. That you think you killed her." Makoto turned away, but didn't contradict him. Haru just hissed through his teeth. Makoto's father raised his head.

"So what happened? He couldn't have killed her."

"I did."

"Shut up, Makoto. You didn't."

"I certainly didn't save her."

Haru suddenly became very angry. "There's a difference between killing someone and not saving them, you idiot! I'm not going to let you torture yourself by thinking you killed her! You fell, she fell, you couldn't catch her. That's it. There was nothing you could do."

All Makoto did was turn away, not giving Haru a reply. Haru groaned in exasperation. He walked to the other side of the bed and once again grabbed Mr. Tachibana's wrist, leading him out to the hallway.

"You know what's wrong with your head, and you need to tell me," Haru said to the man, feeling incredibly awkward talking to a superior like this. But he needed to know.

The man sighed. There was no use hiding it anymore. "I have a mental disorder that causes an alternate personality to surface when I experience extreme stress. I thought I had grown out of it though, it's only ever happened twice, and not for twenty years now. I can't control it, but it's never been this violent before," he finished.

"Learn to."

"What?"

"Learn to control it," Haru said. "You can't lose it in front of your family again."

"Haruka, I can't just stop it, it's literally out of my control!" he said, starting to panic.

"I realize that. We'll get you help as soon as we can. But for now, you need to do your best to control it, and I'll do my best to help you. For them. Okay?" Mr. Tachibana's eyes filled to the brim with tears, and he reached out and pulled Haru into a hug.

"Okay," he murmured into Haru's raven hair. "Thank you, Haru-chan."

Haru only nodded when he pulled away, smiling slightly. They both turned and walked back into the room. Makoto was lying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Haru sat down next to him once more, leaning over and giving him a small kiss. Makoto's father chose not to comment.

Makoto looked over at Haru without turning his head and uttered a few words that broke Haru's heart.

"I wish it had been me."


	11. Chapter 11

Rin, Rei, Nagisa and Kou all burst into Makoto's hospital room, panting. Makoto was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Haru and Makoto's father were nowhere in sight.

Rin ran up to Makoto as fast as he could. "Haru called and said you were awake and we ran up here as fast as we could," he said breathlessly. "Are you ok? What did the doctors say?"

Makoto looked away, hiding the left side of his face. "I'm fine, guys. Don't worry," he said quietly. Rin growled in the back of his throat.

"Oh god, don't give me that shit. Not now," he hissed. "Tell me exactly what they said." Makoto sighed.

"I have something called hypotropic cardiomyothapy. It just means the walls of my heart of thickened and the stress I put on it today sent me into cardiac arrest. I'll probably need surgery but it's not that big of a deal," he finished, not able to look at his team's faces.

"Surgery is a very big deal, Makoto-sempai," Rei said, and his voice was unusually high.

"Rei-"

"Will you be able to swim?"

"I don't know, Nagi-"

"Where's Haru?"

Utter silence filled the air after Rin's question. Makoto turned his head away, lips pressed together in a tight line. "Makoto, where is he?" Rin asked again. "He called and said you were awake, so why isn't he here?"

Makoto whispered something, but Rin couldn't quite hear. "What did you say?"

Makoto took a breath and, in a voice that was just barely louder than before, said, "We had a fight."

Those words shocked his team. The news of their town being destroyed wasn't even as much of a shock as what Makoto just said. Sure, Haru and Makoto fought about dumb things, like not jumping into the fish tank at the pet store or the fountain in the mall, but Makoto's face made it clear that this fight wasn't like the others. It was a real fight, the kind that stretches relationships to the breaking point. Rin ran his hand through his hair and sat down hard in the chair next to Makoto's hospital bed.

"Makoto, tell me what happened."

 

"I wish it had been me."

Haru froze. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Makoto was going to say this. He was so damn selfless. In his mind, he doesn't matter. His life was worthless when compared to someone else's. He would probably give his life for a complete stranger. To have lived while his sister died was the ultimate failure.

But to Haru, that was the most selfish thing he had ever heard Makoto say. He couldn't even bring himself to reply, so he just stood there with his mouth open, like a fish.

Didn't Makoto know? What it would do to Haru if he died? Did he care?

Makoto was still talking, but Haru could barely register what he was saying.

"…caught her. I was right there, Haru, I was right there. How did she get so far away? A few more steps and I would've fallen on that beam, and she would've been ok. A few steps, Haru!" he said, his voice rising. Haru clenched his fists.

"Tachibana-san, please go to your wife's room," he said forcefully. Makoto's father blinked and started to open his mouth in protest.

"Go, now!" Haru yelled. Mr. Tachibana's eyes widened and he stood up, carefully walking to the door. He stopped upon reaching it and turned, only to see Haru still glaring. He turned and walked into the hallway, obediently closing the door behind him. Vaguely Haru wondered when this shift in power had occurred. He turned back to Makoto, who was staring at him with an expression he couldn't quite discern.

"Why did you send him away?" Makoto asked quietly.

"Because we need to talk," Haru answered simply, pulling a chair up to the bed and sitting down.

"Makoto, it wasn't your fault," he said. "You had no idea what was going to happen and you had no control over it-"

"I never said it was my fault, I just said I wish it had been me," Makoto interjected. "That I had died."  
"Is that what you were trying to do today?" Haru asked, and cursed when Makoto averted his eyes. "Fuck, Makoto. Do you have any idea? At all?"

Makoto turned his head toward Haru sharply. "Do I have any idea? She was eight, Haru! Eight! When I was eight I was scared of everything, you know because you were there when I had nightmares. Can you even imagine what she felt, Haru? What I felt?

Haru's head was spinning. "Of course I know what you felt!" he yelled. "Your heart stopped twice in the past two days! You died twice! I thought I lost you forever today when they tried to restart your heart. If you died, I…" he stopped abruptly, choking on the words.

"Well, I'm still here," Makoto said bitterly. "Ren lost his twin sister but thank god you still have your fuck-up of a boyfriend."

"Makoto, stop, please," Haru said, his voice much quieter than before, but Makoto was on a roll.

"Why do you even want me? I'm a swimmer who's scared of water. I couldn't save Rei, I couldn't save my mom or my sister, I almost died running up some fucking stairs. You're my best friend and I couldn't even help you after Rin left," he finally finished. Haru only stared, and after a minute, opened his mouth.

"I want you because I love you. I thought you knew that," he said. Again, Makoto only turned his head, and Haru felt rage boiling up inside him.

"Do you think this isn't hurting anyone else? Ran was like a sister to me, too!" Haru yelled, tears in his eyes. "I loved her! I loved her and I love Ren and your parents and I love you! But this guilt complex you have is ridiculous! Your family needs you right now, and going off and trying to kill yourself won't solve anything, Makoto."

"How was I supposed to know this would happen, Haru? That out of all the shit that's happened, my own fucking heart was going to turn on me, too? I wasn't trying to kill myself, Haru, I just needed to get away, and look what fucking happened!" Makoto yelled, sitting up straight in bed. The beeping noise in the background started to pick up its pace.

"Makoto, you need to calm down," Haru said, watching the heart monitor and taking a deep breath in an attempt to slow down his own racing heart. This was getting out of control.

"Why? Am I overreacting, Haru? Is this too much for you?"

"Makoto, your heart!"

"I don't give a fuck about my heart, Haru!" Makoto nearly screamed. "You know what? I hope it stops!" Haru felt his stomach drop and raised his hand in pure anger and fear.

Makoto was silenced suddenly, violently, by a hard slap to his face. He blinked slowly, his eyes wandering in a sort of daze, and lifted his hand to brush gently against his stinging cheek.

Haru was breathing hard, his hand still in the air. Realization dawned on him suddenly, and he lowered his hand, looking at it intently with watery blue eyes.

"I…I'm sorry, Makoto," he gasped. He turned sharply and started to run out of the room.

"Haru, wait! I'm sorry, Haru!" Makoto yelled, but Haru had already disappeared into the hallway. "Haru! Come back! I'm sorry, come back, please!" he yelled again. Tears ran down his cheeks and his breathing was picking up. Strange noises emanated from his heart monitor as he continued to yell and beg and cry. His heart monitor was going crazy, and it only took a minute for several nurses to rush into the room.

He calmed down eventually, but refused any sedatives they tried to give him. He didn't like the way they made him feel; the pain disappeared, but he couldn't think straight. There was no way to distract himself from the thoughts he tried to keep hidden. Finally, the nurses left him alone.

Makoto waited. Seconds turned into minutes, and there was no sign of Haru. He would have run after him if the nurses hadn't threatened to restrain him. His phone was also gone, so he had no way of contacting anybody. All he could do was wait.

His mind churned while he waited. He felt absolutely awful for what he had said; he didn't even know he was capable of those words, especially towards Haru.

"Haru..ka…" he whispered to himself, choking on the name. He curled up on his side, bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping them in his arms. Tears ran down his face as he sobbed into his knees. "I'm sorry, Haru, I'm sorry, please come back…"

 

Haru panted as he ran down the crowded hospital hallways, turning random corners and narrowly avoiding patients. It didn't escape his mind how ironic his actions were.

He squinted at the bright light that suddenly flooded his vision, and slowed down to a walk. He had almost run straight into the busy street in front of the hospital.

Now that he was more aware of his surroundings, he kept walking, hands shoved in his pockets. He didn't really know where he was going, and he really didn't care. He just needed to keep moving, or he would be sick.

His right hand burned in his pocket, fingers and palm still feeling like pins and needles were stabbing them, right where it had made contact with Makoto's face. He couldn't believe he had hit Makoto. What if he had really hurt him? What if he sent him back into cardiac arrest?

He remembered the insane guilt Makoto felt after he punched Haru. Haru wasn't angry with him at all, so he couldn't understand why Makoto wouldn't stop apologizing. Now though, he couldn't even imagine a scenario where Makoto would forgive him. After all he had gone through, Haru had gone and hit him and run away.

Haru had promised to protect Makoto. To help and support and love him all the way through this. Looking up with bleary eyes, he saw a small bench in the shade of a large weeping cherry. He stumbled over to it, sitting down and bringing his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Raven hair fell over his eyes, so no passerbys could see him crying into his knees.

_I've failed._

 

Makoto was a mess by the time he finished telling his team what had happened. Rin had his elbows on his knees, head in his hands (an increasingly common position for him, it seemed) and Rei was madly rubbing his glasses. Nagisa sat still, not saying a word.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard!" Rin yelled after hearing Makoto sniff rather loudly. "I can't believe he fucking hit somebody in a fucking hospital bed!" He stood up quickly, but Makoto reached out and snatched his wrist, pulling him back down.

"Rin, don't! It's not his fault, ok? I pushed him. He's under a lot of stress, too. So please don't go make this worse," he said in a pleading tone. Rin groaned.

"He's still not gonna get away with this."

"Rin-"

"Makoto-sempai, do you have any idea where Haruka-sempai may have gone?" Rei interrupted. "He is not thinking logically, and I fear he may do something irrational."

Makoto sighed. "No, he just ran out into the hallway. I don't know where he went. Honestly, he might not even be in the hospital by now." Knowing Haru, he definitely wasn't. He probably went where he could be by himself.

Rin stood up. "All right guys, let's go find him." Rei stood up with him, and both started walking toward the door. But Nagisa didn't move.

"Come on Nagisa, let's go. We've gotta find Haru," Rin said. Again, Nagisa stayed still.

"You guys go. I'll stay here with Makoto," he said quietly, his face uncharacteristically somber.

"Are you sure, Nagisa?" Rei asked worriedly. He had never seen Nagisa so quiet.

"Yeah. It's alright, just go find Haru-chan." Nagisa said. With confused looks on their faces, both Rin and Rei turned and walked out the door. Soon enough, the sound of their footsteps faded away.

"Are you alright, Nagisa?" Makoto asked as soon as they were gone. Nagisa nodded his head and scooted his chair closer to the side of the bed.

"That's kind of and ironic question, coming from you," he answered, indicating Makoto's current situation with a nod of his head, earning him a small smile.

"Why didn't you go to look for Haru, then?" Nagisa smiled at him, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"I didn't want to leave you alone, dummy," he replied. Makoto felt a surge of affection for Nagisa.

"Thank you," he said. Then Nagisa's face suddenly turned serious.

"Mako-chan, do you still love Haru-chan?" he asked, making Makoto sputter.

"What? Of course I do, what kind of question is that?" he said, his face reddening despite himself.

"And does Haru-chan still love you?"

At this question, Makoto froze. He didn't want to answer, because honestly, he didn't know the answer. So he remained silent.

"Mako-chan?" Nagisa asked, and kept prodding until he got a quiet "I don't know" out of Makoto, who had turned so they weren't facing each other.

Nagisa sat back and was quiet for a few minutes. Then he sighed loudly.

"See, this is why you can't be alone," he said. "You're such a dummy."

Makoto turned back over, groaning quietly at the pain in his chest. "What are you talking about?"

"Haru-chan still loves you. He sounded like he was gonna cry when he called us. Why would he cry if he didn't love you?" Nagisa said, studying Makoto's face.

"Haru was…crying?" he asked. Guilt swallowed him up. He made Haru cry.

"You guys love each other so much. That's why you feel so horrible that you hurt each other," Nagisa said. Makoto laughed dryly, covering his eyes.

"Thanks, Nagisa," he mumbled. Nagisa smiled his wide, trade-mark grin.

"No problem. I am a love expert after all. One of the best."

Makoto rubbed his eyes. "So when did you become a love expert?" he asked, and immediately knew he had asked the wrong question when Nagisa's smile disappeared. Makoto sat up quickly, flailing his arms around. "Oh, don't answer if you don't want to, Nagisa!" he sputtered, but Nagisa was immediately smiling again.

"Its fine, Mako-chan! It's just…well, the way you guys look at each other, it's different from how my parents looked at each other. They might still be together if they looked at each other like that."

Makoto laid back down, feeling incredibly guilty for making Nagisa revisit that memory. "Nagisa, I'm sorry…" he tried.

"Don't apologize, Mako-chan! That's an order!" he said pointing his finger at Makoto with a very serious face, and Makoto couldn't help but chuckle.

"I won't do it again, Nagisa-sensei," Makoto joked, feeling his chest lighten when Nagisa smiled. Nagisa's eyes flashed and he leaned down toward the bed.

"Mako-chan, can I tell you something?" he whispered.

Makoto's eyebrows furrowed and he nodded. Smiling, Nagisa sat back.

"Observing you and Haru is very helpful. I've already used the look on Rei twice. He's going to be all mine soon."

"Nagisa!"

 

Thirty minutes after they started searched, Rin and Rei realized that Haru was no longer in the hospital. They ran out the front door, right into a crowd of people waiting for the bus.

Both started questioning everyone in the crowd. "Have you seen a boy about this tall, skinny, black hair, blue eyes, and wearing this sweatshirt?" was Rei's question to people in the crowd.

Rin's question was more along the lines of, "Have you seen a skinny black haired water-loving crazy running around?" Needless to say, Rei was the most successful of the pair. He grabbed Rin and pulled him out of the crowd and faced him.

"A woman said she saw a boy with black hair on a park bench two blocks down. He had his head in his knees, so she couldn't see his eyes."

"That's him. Let's go," Rin replied, and both took off running. A small park quickly came into view, filled with screaming children on the playground. Rei spotted the weeping cherry, but couldn't see underneath the hanging branches.

"Rin-san, he might be in there. It would be hard to see." Quickly, both ran over to the tree and parted the heavy branches to see Haru curled up on an old bench. Haru didn't move until he felt a hand on each of his shoulders. He looked up at them slowly. Rin thought he looked exhausted.

"Haru, let's go back. Makoto needs you," Rin stated, all his anger from earlier gone.

Haru lowered his legs to the ground and shook his head. "He doesn't want me."

"Makoto-sempai is incredibly sorry for what he said. I'm sure he'll want to apologize and he'll forgive you," Rei said. Haru didn't respond.

Rin growled. "For fuck's sake, Haru. I'm not gonna let you do this to yourself. You fucked up, yeah, but it's Makoto. I'm one of the most emotionally stunted people you've ever met and even I can see how much he loves you. Don't you ever let him think that you don't feel the same, got it?" he finished. He could feel his face redden but he didn't lose eye contact with Haru.

After a few moments, Haru looked down, breathing deeply. Then he stood up.

"Let's go, then," he said, and started walking toward the hospital. Rin and Rei looked at each other and, for the first time, smiled at one another.

 

Makoto had just barely started to turn his head to the door when he was wrapped inside strong arms. He could only see the person's shirt, but the distinct smell of chlorine and mackerel gave away his identity. Tears sprang to eyes and he hugged Haru back tightly, breathing in his scent.

He could hear quiet footsteps exiting the room and the door creaking as it closed, but it was a long while before they released each other. Even when they did, both still had their hands clasped together.

"Makoto, I'm-"

"Haru, you don't need to apologize. It's not your fault."

"No, I do," Haru said firmly. "I'm sorry, Makoto. I should've supported you and comforted you and I didn't," he said, not making eye contact with Makoto.

Makoto's grip on his hand tightened. "I'm sorry too, Haru. I know this is affecting you too, I shouldn't have said all those things," he said, his voice sincere. His gaze dropped as well, and he murmured something softly.

"I just…I miss her so much, Haru. I don't think I really realized she was gone forever until now. But she is, isn't she? She's never coming back."

Haru couldn't speak past the lump in his throat. So he simply lifted up the covers and climbed into the bed with Makoto, laying down on his side next to him and gently guiding his head to his chest. There he held Makoto, who was silent.

"It's ok, Makoto. You can cry. You can mourn. I'm right here," he whispered. "I'm not leaving you ever again."

The dam holding back his feelings broke, and Makoto started to cry. It was just small sniffles and some tears at first, but soon turned into loud, awful sobbing. Haru kept his head tucked in close to his chest, gently smoothing his hair and crying into it. He could feel Makoto grabbing his shirt in tight fist, drenching the fabric. But it was ok.

Makoto was finally mourning Ran properly. His beautiful, smart, funny little sister was being grieved for.

He was mourning for Ren, who lost half of himself. He was mourning for his mother and father, because no parent should have to bury their child. And he was mourning for himself. He lost his sister, who he had sworn to protect at all costs. The pain was almost unbearable.

He would mourn with his family and friends. Maybe sharing the pain would make it more bearable. And Haru swore to himself that he would always be there.

He and Makoto would heal together.


	12. Chapter 12

The air that afternoon was cool, but not unpleasantly so. A small breeze blew Haru's hair in front of his nose, tickling it, and he couldn't hold back a sneeze. He covered his face with his hand, making a small "ugh" sound afterward.

"Bless you, Haru-chan," Makoto said, and he pulled a tissue packet out of his pocket and held it up to Haru, who took one gratefully. Makoto watched as he rubbed his nose, his blue eyes slightly watery. He reached out and took Haru's free hand in his own larger one and rubbed his thumb across the back of it. "I hope you're not catching a cold," he said worriedly.

Haru squeezed Makoto's hand. "Don't worry about me," he said, voice deadpan but eyes sincere. "You have more important things to worry about."

Makoto gulped and looked away, and Haru mentally cursed himself. "Makoto, it's ok. I'm right here." Please look at me. Haru held his breath until slightly droopy green eyes turned back toward him. Makoto gave him a weak smile.

"I know, Haru. I'm ok." Which was a lie, Haru knew, but he didn't say anything. He knew how much Makoto had been dreading today.

It had been two months since Makoto had collapsed in the hospital. Two months since his subsequent surgery and successful recovery. And two months since his little sister died. Today was Ran Tachibana's funeral.

The main reason it was chilly outside in late spring was because it was barely six in the morning. Haru had gotten a call late in the night from Makoto. All he heard was a whispered "please" and he had thrown his shoes and coat on and practically ran to Makoto's new home. Haru had made sure his own parents had relocated him close to his friend's new house, so it was less than three minutes later that Haru found Makoto on the bathroom floor, leaning over the toilet, covered in sweat and shaking. He was gagging but nothing was coming up.

Haru got him cleaned up and together they walked outside into the cool night air. Haru didn't need Makoto to tell him what put him in that state. The nightmares had been frequent since that day, but last night's had been particularly horrific. Makoto swore he could still feel blood on his hands, his face.

So that's how they ended up wandering aimlessly around Iwatobi at six-thirty in the morning. Out of the corner of his eye, Makoto saw a small beam of soft light, and turned to see the beginnings of the rising sun, spreading its pinks, violets and blues across the horizon.

"How are you feeling?" Haru asked suddenly. Since Makoto had gotten out of the hospital they had tried to keep physical activity to a minimum to give his heart more time to recover. But they had already been walking for over four hours, and even Haru was starting to feel some fatigue set in.

Makoto smiled again. "I'm fine, Haru-chan. This is nice."

A few more minutes passed and suddenly the two found themselves standing across the street than ran along the beach. Despite the sun shedding some light on the water's surface, it still seemed endlessly dark as it lapped against the shore. Haru felt Makoto's grip on his hand tighten. "Let's go back, Makoto."

"Yeah."

 

There was no point in trying to go back to sleep, so the two stopped at Haru's house to pick up his clothes before walking back to Makoto's. They walked onto the porch in silence and slid open the front door, only to see Ren sitting against the wall next to it. He was in his red pj's and mismatched socks, clutching a worn orca plushie to his chest. He looked up as the door scraped against the floor, his eyes watery.

Makoto immediately bent down and scooped the boy into his arms, squeezing him against his broad chest. The orca plushie slipped from his hand, but Haru caught it before it hit the ground and held it against his side.

"It's today, isn't it, onii-chan," Ren whispered into his brother's neck.

Makoto nodded, rubbing his brother's back gently. Ren didn't say anything more, so the trio quietly headed upstairs to Makoto's room, which wasn't really Makoto's room where he and Haru and spent so much time growing up together, just a plain old room with a bed and desk and some drawers. Makoto could hear his parents getting out of bed from down the hallway.

"I guess we should start getting ready," Makoto said to Haru, who nodded silently. Ren went to his parent for breakfast, but the two teenagers found they weren't very hungry, so they started to pull on their suits. Makoto's was a bit too tight and Haru's a bit too big, but they had to make do. These were just rentals since most of their clothing was lost in the storm.

"Makoto, do you need help?" Haru asked after watching Makoto struggle with his tie. Before it wouldn't have been a problem, but some of the side effects of the medicine he was on was trembling of the hands. He couldn't seem to get the tie through the knot smoothly and frustration was getting the better of him. Haru walked over to him and gently gripped his hand, lowering it. "Let me."

Makoto gave an exasperated sigh, but stood still as Haru looped the tie so that it lay perfectly flat against Makoto's chest. Then he just stood, thin fingers smoothing down the tie over and over again, erasing every wrinkle and crease. Makoto took a breath to speak, his chest rising up, and Haru couldn't help himself. He all but smashed his face into Makoto's chest, wrapping himself around the taller man.

Yes, man was the right word, even if it made Haru's heart ache. They were still young, but all their innocence had been stolen from them.

"Haru?" Makoto asked, surprised at the sudden show of affection. Haru only nuzzled closer, and a few seconds passed before he spoke.

"Please just remember that no matter what happens, we love you. Your parents and Ren and Nagisa and Rei and Rin and Kou love you," he said into Makoto's chest, his voice slightly muffled. "And I love you."

Haru could hear Makoto's heart speed up in his chest, feel the small gasps he was making. Long arms wrapped around him in return, gripping the back of his shirt in shaking hands. But he did not cry. No, he would have time for that later.

His bedroom door opened, revealing a tired-looking Mr. Tachibana. The two untangled themselves and turned to face him.

"It's time to go, boys."

 

The cemetery was rather crowded. Multiple small funerals were all going on at once, scattered around the large plot. The owners were worried about overcrowding, so it was recommended that the bodies were cremated to save space. Most were anyway, like Ran's, because of the amount of time elapsed before a proper burial was possible.

A short while after they reached the cemetery, guests started arriving. Makoto's grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins were there first. This was followed by an uncomfortable amount of hugs and kisses from people he hadn't seen in years, and who hadn't seen the twins since they were toddlers.

After escaping the crowd of well-meaning but overbearing relatives, he walked to the edge of the cemetery, where he found Haru leaning against a huge tree. "You looked like you were being suffocated," he remarked lightly.

Makoto gave Haru a small smile, rubbing the back of his head. "Yeah, it sorta felt like that. I know they mean well, but…"

He didn't know how to put it into words. He remembered most of these people, but he didn't feel anything toward a lot of them because they were never around. And to hear them talking and acting like they knew him and Ren and Ran put a bad taste in his mouth.

"I know what you mean," Haru said, and Makoto realized that he didn't have to put it into words. Suddenly a silver car pulled up and parked at the curb near them, and out of it spilled Rin, Kou, Nagisa, and Rei.

"Rin, you're a really scary driver!" Makoto heard Nagisa whine while rubbing his head. Rei looked slightly green and Kou a bit frazzled as they began walking toward the cemetery entrance. Rin only scowled as he shut the car door repeatedly in an attempt to get it closed. Once it finally stayed put, he looked up saw Makoto and Haru by the tree, and his expression immediately sobered.

Makoto watched as his friends made their way toward him. It was a bit of a strange sight seeing them wear suits, especially Nagisa. And seeing Kou in all black and devoid of her usual bright, fun clothing weighed on his heart.

"Thank you for coming," Makoto said sincerely as they approached him. Kou, who looked like she was closer and closer to crying as she walked toward them, suddenly leapt forward and hugged him tightly.

"Dummy," she said as she released him. "You don't have to thank us." Seeing his surprised face, she gave him a watery smile and walked back to her brother who was staring somewhere off to the side, hands shoved in his pockets.

Nagisa went next and, much like Kou, had himself wrapped around Makoto tightly. "I love you, Mako-chan. And I know Ran loved you so much. I want to be as good of a brother as you are," he said. Nagisa's voice was a little rough and shaky, and it was hard for Makoto to listen to. But he hugged him back, mussing his blond hair a little.

When they let go, Rei took a deep breath and walked in front of Makoto, back stiff and straight. He exhaled and focused his eyes, like he was about to give an important speech. "Makoto-sempai, I would just like to say that you are the best sempai that I have ever had. But you are more than that; you are truly one of the best friends I have or ever will have. And I know that you were the best older brother Ran could have ever asked for. I-" but he was cut off as Makoto stepped forward and hugged him.

"Makoto-sempai! I wasn't done, I still-"

"Thank you, Rei," Makoto said into his shoulders. Rei finally stopped squirming and relaxed, wrapping his arms around Makoto in return.

"Y-you're welcome, Makoto-sempai," he uttered softly.

"How about just 'Makoto'?" the taller man asked, straightening up. Rei blushed slightly and pushed up his glasses, the glare hiding his eyes momentarily.

"Um…you're welcome, Makoto."

That brought out the most genuine smile from Makoto that Haru had seen all day. Still blushing, Rei turned away and walked back to Nagisa and stood by him awkwardly.

Everyone then turned expectantly toward Rin, who tensed up upon feeling their eyes on him. He gritted his teeth and walked toward Makoto, stopping about a foot away.

"Um, Makoto, I…I was wondering if we could talk in private for a minute?" he asked nervously, ignoring the surprised looks that earned.

Makoto looked over to Haru, who nodded. "Sure," he said, turning back to Rin. The red head walked ahead while Makoto gave the rest of the group a small wave before jogging a little to catch up. He could feel Haru's eyes watching him.

Rin stopped suddenly after a minute of walking in silence. Makoto turned around to face him.

"So, what do you need to talk about, Rin?" Makoto asked softly, knowing that it was a big deal for Rin to do something like this. He waited patiently for Rin to gather his bearings.

"Makoto, I…" Rin gulped and clenched his fists. "I didn't really know your sister. But she seemed so sweet and funny, and when I found her in the school…"

"Rin, you don't have to," Makoto said, raising one hand. He wasn't sure if he liked where this was going.

"No!" he shouted suddenly, stopping Makoto in his tracks. "I just…I do, I do have to. Please," he said, practically begging. Makoto lowered his hand and nodded. Rin took a breath and continued.

"When I found her, I thought I was having a nightmare. And when you saw her…Makoto, I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. You are the last person on earth this should've happened to. And I'm so fucking selfish because when you were hugging her all I could think about was going back to Gou to make sure she was ok and oh god, Makoto…"

Tears had been streaming down both their faces for a while now, and when Rin started to choke on his words Makoto couldn't help but pull him into his arms. Rin clutched to front of Makoto's jacket and his legs turned to jelly. Both sunk down to their knees in the grass.

"Rin, that's not selfish at all," Makoto said after the two had calmed down a bit. "That's normal. You love her and just wanted to make sure she was ok. I'm glad."

Rin gave Makoto a look that was almost disbelieving, and he started to laugh among his sobs.

"I can't…I can't believe that you're the one comforting me today, of all days…" he said shakily, wiping tears from his eyes. Makoto only smiled as he pulled out the packet of tissues from his pocket, offering it to Rin, who took one gratefully. Makoto pulled out one for himself before stuffing it back in his pocket.

"Makoto, I…there's something else I wanted to say," he said, looking at Makoto as if asking for permission.

"It's ok, Rin. I'm listening."

Rin took a deep breath. "I realize now that I've been a pretty shitty big brother to Gou. I wasn't around for a long time, and she didn't deserve that. You helped me realize that I want to change that, and I've been trying. It's just…if something ever happens, I want Gou to know that I loved her more than anything. I just wish it hadn't taken this to make me realize that." He looked up at Makoto, red eyes meeting green. "So thank you."

Makoto didn't respond for a moment. Then, in a whisper so quiet Rin had to lean in close to hear it, he said, "I'm really happy for you, Rin. I really am. I just wish it hadn't taken this much either."

A silent hug and a few minutes of walking later, Makoto and Rin joined back up with the rest of the group. Rin walked right up to his sister and hooked his elbow through hers, much to her delight. Makoto made his way to Haru, who was holding Ren in one arm, and slipped his hand into Haru's free one.

Haru looked up into Makoto's red-rimmed eyes and frowned. Makoto rubbed them once more and smiled a little. "I'm fine, Haru," he said. Haru didn't look convinced, but let it slide. "Can I take Ren from you?"

Makoto took the abnormally quiet boy into his arms. It was no secret he had been hit the hardest by Ran's death. Makoto had been doing his best, but the boy hasn't been the same since. The only thing Makoto could do was hope the pain would fade as he got older.

"Guys, it's starting!" Nagisa whisper-shouted from the seating area. Makoto and Haru made their way over to the front row where his parents were, handing Ren to his mother. She was sitting in her wheelchair, a soft blanket covering her legs. Her lovely green eyes looked at Makoto with intense sadness. She beckoned him lower so she could give him a kiss.

"Sit next to me, alright?" she said quietly. Makoto nodded and he sat down next to his mother, with Haru on his other side and his father on the other side next to his mother. Ren started to whine in her arms, so she pressed a kiss to his forehead and shushed him gently.

"Shh, baby. It's about to start."

 

The ceremony itself was beautiful, Haru had to admit. Mr. Tachibana went up first to speak about his daughter, and if anybody wasn't crying by the end they definitely were after Makoto's speech.

By the end of Makoto's speech, the grieving brother had tears running down his face and what seemed like an inability to move. Almost a minute of silence passed before Haru stood up and helped Makoto back to his seat, where his mother hugged him so hard he could barely breathe.

Soon after, the tiny urn with Ran's ashes was lowered into the ground. Makoto and Ren both threw the first handfuls of dirt onto the grave. The grave was then filled and people started to leave. That was it.

Hours passed, and all Makoto did was stand in front of the grave. People continued to give their condolences, but it was hard to remain polite. Eventually, the only ones left were Makoto's immediate family and his friends.

But even they couldn't stay too much longer. Although unwillingly, Makoto's parents and brother left without him because he wanted to walk home. It got late and Rei, Nagisa, and the Matsouka siblings needed to leave so, after a few more hugs and some tears, Haru and Makoto were the only ones left.

Both were sitting on the ground in front of the grave, which had been covered in flowers. They were leaning on each other's shoulders and Haru felt himself falling asleep. He was just about to slip away when Makoto moved suddenly. He snapped awake and turned to look at Makoto.

"Haru…I'm ready."

And that's how they found themselves at the beach by their old houses. This section had been hit the worst by the storm, but relief efforts managed to clean it up so that it looked even nicer than before. The beach was free of debris, and the sand felt pleasantly cool under Makoto's feet. The tide was in, and the loud swoosh of the waves made it so Haru had to raise his voice to be heard.

"Are you really okay with this?" he asked.

Makoto nodded. "I am," he said, and his eyes shone brighter than Haru had seen in months. The taller boy pulled off his suffocating suit jacket and shirt, letting them land in a pile with Haru's on the sand.

They gripped each other's hands and walked toward the surf. The moment the water rose up around Makoto's feet he tensed. Haru's right here with me. Nothing's going to happen. He took a step, and another.

Slowly they made their way until the water reached Makoto's waist. The waves were still big here, pushing him back with each swell.

"Are you alright?" Haru asked. Makoto nodded without speaking. He needed to do this.

Soon he couldn't touch the bottom, but he didn't stop. The two kept swimming, keeping it slow, without letting go of each other's hands. The waves got bigger and bigger until suddenly, they stopped.

Makoto had never been this far away from shore before. He'd imagined that it would get worse the farther from shore you went, but right here there were no waves. The ocean was almost completely still.

He looked up at the sky, which was still transitioning from day into night. The rays of sunlight hit the water at an angle, making Makoto feel like he could reach out and scoop up some liquid gold. His entire body felt weightless, and all the pain in his chest had been replaced with a warm, soothing feeling.

"Haru, it's beautiful," he said, his voice full of amazement. Haru nodded in agreement, staring up at the sky with him. Then he turned to look Makoto in the face, thinking it was just as beautiful a sight as the sky was.

"Makoto, what are we?"

"Huh?" Makoto looked at him, his eyebrows drawn up in confusion. "What does that mean?"

Haru mentally smacked himself for his awkwardly phrased question. "Uh, I mean, are we boyfriends or lovers or something?" he rambled, face steadily growing more red. "Because I've been thinking about it and none of those really fit. You're…you're more than a boyfriend or lover. You're, uh…" Haru continued to stutter, wishing he could just sink under the water until his face stopped burning.

Before he could make that decision, however, a pair of warm lips crushed themselves against his. He lost his self-control instantly, kissing back with vigor. Finally, the two broke apart and gasped for air.

"Makoto, what-"

"Haru, you're right. We're more than that. I love you and I'm in love with you, Haruka," Makoto said, once he caught his breath. Immediately, Haru felt a warmth fill his chest. Makoto had gotten it; thank goodness, because Haru was never very good with words.

Haru was so in love with Makoto, and to know that Makoto felt the same was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

"So I guess we don't really have a name, huh? We're just Makoto and Haru," Makoto said, smiling.

"Can't have one without the other," Haru whispered back. They both looked up at the sky, and Makoto could see the constellation Ran had found a couple years ago. If you looked hard enough, you could see a dolphin and an orca swimming side-by-side.

"I'm never going to leave you, Makoto."

"Neither will I, Haruka."

Time it took us

To where the water was

That's what the water gave me

And time goes quicker

Between the two of us

Oh, my love, don't forsake me

Take what the water gave me

-Florence and the Machine, "What the Water Gave Me"

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Reposting this on ao3 was very nostalgic as I re-read through the whole thing. It's pretty good for my first fanfiction ever, in my humble opinion ^^. I hope you all enjoyed it! Comments/kudos are greatly appreciated. Have a lovely day!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Next chapter will be up tomorrow.


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